Colombian Brides and International Dating

The Mistakes Men Make
Bigger rewards carry bigger risks. International dating is no exception. A beautiful, devoted Colombian bride is a lifetime prize for the man who avoids the hazards. I’ve watched thousands of interactions between American men and Colombian women. Learn from them. Learn from my mistakes and from others’. There is no bump-free road to love, but there are proven methods to find an exceptional Colombian bride.
What follows is what no matchmaking site will tell you. It’s blunt, direct, and provoking. It may even scare you. It shouldn’t. The goal is clarity. I’ll show you the realities of Colombian women and international dating so you can operate effectively in a different culture.
This is a candid look at Colombian women, largely applicable to most women in developing countries, the errors men repeat, and the steps to avoid them. You already stand apart because you know your future bride may not live in your hometown. Keep separating yourself from the pack. Follow the guidance. Understand the moving parts of your search. Then avoid the mistakes most men make when pursuing a Latin bride.

Not Beginning
Another regretful mistake men make is not committing to a visit. They think about coming to Colombia and meeting beautiful Latin women. They wonder, “could it really be true that many attractive women would be interested in meeting me?” They ask me and others a lot of questions. They visit our website often. But they can’t muster the muscle to actually go. These men will never know what could have been. It stays a dream instead of a dream come true. Understand, it is very normal to have hesitancy prior to such an undertaking. Our matchmaking service is unique and unusual. The familiarity is not there for immediate comfort and acceptance. You’re not accustomed to having an outsider find you a wife. You’re not used to traveling to non-touristy destinations. You’re not a rock star with groupies experienced in having an audience of attractive women. And you’re not comfortable with a service from an industry (international matchmaking) that, rightfully so, does not have a good reputation. Damn right you should be cautious! Even after careful research and contemplation it is normal to feel nervous. Understand that this feeling won’t change until you’re off the plane and meeting your first Colombian woman. That first smile will be your point of no regret. If you can dream about it, you can begin the process of finding a Colombian bride. Furthermore, we conduct this process in an environment that supports and cares for you every step of the way.

Going It Alone
Unless you know the woman, the language, and the surroundings of your foreign destination and have ample time, going alone is asking for trouble. You will be subject to unexpected events and downtime. You will be prone to misunderstood communications and missed signals from your encounters. Why take a trip where you must watch your back? Go solo with no guarantees, or choose the comfort and security of International Introductions. We coordinate every part of your visit so it runs to plan. Your time is spent enjoying, not worrying. We provide unmatched on-site support and attention. Our focus is a smooth, satisfying visit.

Not Knowing Her

Not knowing the woman you plan to marry is a big risk. Make no assumptions about Colombian women. Assume they know nothing about your background, culture, or daily life as an American, and that you know nothing about theirs until you learn otherwise. We help by giving you key questions and practical tips. You still need proof that her actions match her answers. There are many ways to learn her desires, character, and potential and still have fun. Take her to a casino. Most Colombian women will not know blackjack. Teach her and play. You will see how attentive she is, how quickly she learns, and how open she is to learning something new. You will also see how logical she is, how well she follows instructions, and what risks she takes with your money. Shared activities are the best way to see the real her. Passive activities such as watching television together are a waste of your limited face-to-face time. One quality movie with a talk afterward can still be useful.

Do not trust anyone in Colombia until they show you that you can trust them. This is the opposite of my personal style in the United States, where I trusted people unless they gave me a reason not to. In Colombia that view will not serve you well. Take the time to know your woman. There is no fixed timeline. For some men it takes years. For men who are adept at communication and observation it can take a few months. Whatever the pace, it was not enough if you end up saying things like this: I did not know my wife did not finish high school. I did not know my wife could not learn English. I did not know she had worms. I did not know she would sit around all day and do nothing. I did not know she would want me to wear a condom even after we married. It is hard to feel sorry for men who did not know the women they married at a basic level. If you rush a lifelong decision without really knowing the woman you are bringing into your life, an unwanted outcome should not be a surprise.

Committing Too Quickly
Regardless of how many women you can meet, you will usually have a favorite right away. The instinct is to spend all your time with her. Resist that. A man’s early top choice often changes. In the first weeks, unwanted surprises can surface on both sides. A woman who was third on your list, or a new introduction, can move to the front. Early favorites come mostly from physical attraction. Over time, beauty fades if the other qualities you want are missing. A woman with the compatibility and personality you value, who is within your preferred physical range, becomes more attractive as you get to know her. Do not drop the other women you like until you are sure the current favorite has and can offer what you want in a wife. Meet every woman you selected who wants to meet you. Go on dates with those you like. Keep dating multiple women until you know you made the best choice based on mutual compatibility and attraction, not on lust. When you are down to one strong interest, then focus on building the relationship and love.

Taking a Vacation

You are going to have a good time in Colombia and it will feel like a vacation, but you cannot treat it as one. Enjoying a companion only in vacation mode can distort her view of life in America, and it keeps you from seeing what day-to-day life with her is like. It is easy to get along when you are doing fun activities. What matters is how she responds to ordinary routines. Create a home setting and step into the roles of husband and wife. Watch how she shops for food, cooks, cleans up, does laundry, keeps the bedroom and living area, and how she helps you with any of these. What is her take on a simple walk together with you? You do not need an event to have a good time. You should enjoy her company in the most ordinary places. Events can distract. Almost anyone can have fun at a fun place. Some men gauge the fun they have with a woman as proof of compatibility. Often it is the outing that creates the enjoyment, not the woman. If you see her only in play mode, you will not know whether she will be a responsible, contributing member of the family. To assess that, give her several tasks at different times that call for different levels of effort, then judge whether the results meet your standard. These should be everyday tasks you would expect from a partner. Examples include making specific arrangements before your visit, following a cooking recipe in Spanish that you know but she does not, or buying an item that fits the exact parameters you set. A Colombian woman can love you very much yet still not function to the level of assistance you expect.

Being Alone
If you are serious about finding a Colombian bride, do not waste precious time during your visit. You should have potential candidates with you at all times. There is too much to learn about Colombian women to squander this window. Rest up before you arrive and after you return — not while you are here. With us, every waking moment in Colombia is spent meeting or dating women.

Giving Money
Over the years I have asked random Colombian women what they think of a man who mails a camera to a girl after a few letters. Or a man who buys a laptop after knowing her six days. I get the same answer every time: he is trying to buy her. Ask the woman who receives the gift and she will say something different. Most do not want to think they are being swayed, so they call it generous. But they know, just as the others know, that you are trying to buy them. When I ask why men do this, women do not say it is because the men are handsome, funny, or interesting. They say the opposite. The men do not see themselves as handsome, funny, or interesting, which is why they feel they need to spend or give money to women they barely know. No matter how you frame your gift, it is a persuasive purchasing tactic. It may work, but not for love. It can buy attention, time, or a body, and only for a while. It will not buy love. If you want a woman who will not be loyal, trustworthy, reliable, or sincere, buy her things. She can pretend to love you, and you can pretend it is true love. When hard times hit, or the money stops, or she can get money without you, she is gone. You cannot buy loyalty and love. Why would you want a partner you cannot rely on? The biggest courting mistake men make is how and when they spend money. Money at the start, before marriage, damages the natural and mutual bond of a couple. This is not about what you can afford. It is about the value from her perspective. That value can corrupt and pull a woman into being with you for the wrong reason. Keep gifts to a minimum, such as birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas, or keep them purely sentimental. First evaluate her character and true intent. Her interest in you should be free of any material return. If she suggests shopping as a date, she is seeking a material return. If you want love, capture her attention without cash. Do not make spending the basis of the relationship. Once the love foundation is real, be who you are with money. I still suggest you do not support her financially while she is in Colombia unless you asked her to quit her job to focus on English or other studies. Colombian men do not support girlfriends or fiancées. Very few support their wives’ families. Do not set a different expectation. Once you are engaged, buy a very inexpensive ring because robbery risk is high in Colombia. Do not assume any debt she has. Do not loan anyone money. The more you pay and give, the more she will think you are a sucker.

Be cautious with any request for money. A woman who loves you will not ask you for money, even in an emergency. She will refuse if her family pressures her to ask. Some women will ask directly for school, family, medical needs, medicine, or losses from a robbery. The more conniving will be subtle. At the mall she may ask which shoes you like. She may hold up a dress and ask if it looks good on her. She may say she cannot do an activity because she lacks the right clothes, like a swimsuit. She may say she lost her phone or her computer broke, so she cannot stay in touch. Another tactic is a robbery story that did not happen, with a claim she had extra cash that day for a bill. Now she cannot pay rent or buy school items for her child. Be suspicious if she prefers cash rather than you paying a bill directly. If you can buy plane tickets online and she says to send cash for a discount, do not do it. Be concerned if she loses the cash you gave her for a specific expense. Do not accept any woman calling you cheap. She is not as productive and hardworking as you have been in your life, and for her to judge what others should spend when she cannot do the same for herself or others shows a lack of class and character. That sense of entitlement is a bad sign. What you give her is likely more than anyone else gives her. Women who are truly interested in you will not ask for things, directly or indirectly, and will be sincerely appreciative of whatever you give.

Absent Love
Surprisingly, some men cannot gauge a woman’s true interest. Private and public moments must match. In public she should kiss and hold you in front of family, friends, and strangers. She should look you in the eye. Her smiles and laughter should show she is enjoying herself. She should want to be with you every possible moment during your visit. She should want to be seen with you, not tucked in the back of a restaurant. Her primary attention should be on you even when children, friends, or family are present. She should share you with everyone she knows. She should want photos of you together that look like a happy couple and she should share them, too. She should guard how you spend your money. She should stay close to you and not want to leave your side. In private she should touch you and want to be touched. She should enjoy and respond to making love, or initiate it. She should be moved by small sentimental gifts and by sincere praise. She should be open to doing the activities you want, even if they are mundane. She should do small favors without being asked. On the phone her excitement and tone should be the same whether she is alone or with company. Daily she should want to know about your day and share hers. She should tell you she loves you and misses you and that she cannot wait to see you. If you do not say “I love you” often, she will ask what is wrong. She may say she looks forward to having your baby. She should not lie to you or hide things. If she must, she will lie to others to be with you. The relationship should feel smooth and balanced, and rare problems should resolve quickly. She should remember details of your dates months later, even if you do not.

The signs of love are strong. Do not rationalize if they are missing. Do not marry hoping she will learn to love you because you are kind. She will not. Keep your common sense. Avoid infatuation. Control your urges and emotions. Take the time to understand her so you know whether the connection has real viability, mutual respect, adoration, and love. Many Colombian women fall in love quickly and are very emotional and affectionate. If you do not feel her passion and touch, she is not into you. Beware of terminology. In Colombia, affectionate Spanish words are used broadly. “Mi amor” can be said to strangers. “Mi vida” can be used with casual acquaintances. Compliments are diluted. What sounds like love may not be love.

Chasing the Wrong Woman

Pursuing the wrong woman kills your drive to find the right one. If you waste effort trying to convince a woman to love you, it will end in heartbreak and disappointment. That crash can stop you from seeking love with someone better. Love and bonding should arise from mutual desire. Never accept disrespect. If a woman is not showing interest, let her go. Do not insult yourself by staying. Trying to win over a disinterested woman invites exploitation. These chases are usually driven by lust, while her only lust is for what she can get from you. Do not pursue those who initially expressed disinterest in your profile but whom at your behest, we were able to convince to meet you.
I have never seen that end in marriage. First impressions of attraction rarely change for women. Do not chase women who avoid intimacy without a sound, consistent reason. I had a client who accepted his fiancée’s demand for no sex before marriage even though she already had a child outside of marriage. She wanted him to wait but did not hold the same rule for the other man. The message was clear: she was not sexually interested in him.

Do not pursue women who want only friendship. Do not pursue women who miss a date after an introduction. For women who are often late, judge the facts and their overall behavior toward you before deciding. Do not pursue women who cancel with “sickness” or vague problems that you cannot verify and that are not followed by her effort to see you soon. During a limited stay, genuine interest shows through action.

Be cautious with women who pick only the most expensive restaurants and venues. Most Colombian women are happy with simple outings. Evaluate price against her income, not U.S. prices. If you offer to buy a blouse, does she pick one that would cost her half a month’s salary? Low maintenance in Colombia can become high maintenance in the United States. Do not pursue women who rush to marriage. Do not pursue women who are not eager to share their time, thoughts, attention, heart, and life with you. Share the details of your situation with a trusted friend. A clear outside view helps you make choices that protect your long-term interests in love.

Not Telling Her No

Say no to occasional nonessential requests and watch how she reacts. This is not about your means or your willingness to provide. It is about insight into how she handles a boundary. Most of my clients are successful men who can give a woman what she wants. We all know what happens when we give children everything they want. They become spoiled and throw fits when they hear no. In some respects, some Colombian women are no different. After getting used to your generosity, a no may trigger pouting, anger, or a sour change in mood. I have seen Colombian women who, when pampered with clothes, beauty services, and visible status, become disdainful and pretentious. Colombia is a class society, and people of lower status are often looked down on. A modest woman who suddenly gains outward signs of success and a bright future can change and expect preferential treatment from those who were once her equals. Most men at this stage are guided by emotion and miss these shifts. Rushing to overindulge a woman who has had very little can create unhealthy expectations. What seemed like a sweet woman can change if she is not well grounded. Set limits early, observe the response, and decide from behavior, not from sentiment.

Not Having Sex
Not having a sexual relationship with your woman before marriage is a big risk. Some men abstain for religious reasons. I have seen those men end up in unsatisfying marriages. Sexual compatibility and liking what you see in bed are too important to leave to faith that it will be fine after the wedding night. Very few Colombian women abstain before marriage. Their sexuality is much like American women. They are sexually liberal. They feel good about their sexuality, they flirt, they enjoy attention from men even when they have a boyfriend, and they enjoy being women. Nudity in popular print media is more common in Colombia than in the United States. Colombian women are obsessed with beauty. In one month you can see more front-page news about beauty pageants than you would see in years in the United States. It is hard to meet a Colombian woman who does not see herself as attractive and sexy. Their self-esteem is high. Plastic surgery is common. Many prefer liposuction over exercise. There is a slightly higher share of women who are sexually conservative than in the United States, but it is a small minority. Single Colombian women tend to have sex less often than American women because privacy at home is limited. Colombia has many flashy motels rented by the hour for sexual trysts. Most Colombian women do not use birth control.
Any sexual relationship must be consensual. It is normal for sex to occur after two or three dates. Women who go to bed with you on first meeting would likely do the same with most men. There is a higher share of foreign women willing to provide sex for money in developing countries than in the United States. Such women reveal clues to their lifestyle.

Doing It on the Cheap
This is not a journey for shortcuts. Men who do not budget and prepare to maximize their visit often end up with nothing. Save the right amount so your first trip gives you the best chance to find a match and enjoy the experience without money worries. An extended stay that lets you meet and date many women does exactly that. If the first trip is not successful, any “savings” from cutting corners vanish when you need a second trip. Do not limit your stay when you need time to find and know your future bride. Do not limit how many women you can meet. Do not skip services that raise your odds. These limits do not pay off. Marrying a Colombian bride requires added attention and resources. Do not short-change yourself. International Introductions is for men who want to succeed without taking multiple trips. If you keep flying back and forth to do this on the cheap, you erase any savings and you undermine the best methods for finding a Latin wife.

Using Dating Sites
International dating sites with women from developing countries have a high and growing number of scammers. These sites are not diligent about protecting you as we are. Scammers removed for unethical practices reappear under new names. You are not only dealing with individual women hustling men online. Crooked operators also hire teams of sweet-looking women on computers and webcams and run elaborate deceptions that can include drugging, robbery, and kidnapping when you visit her country. With a weak global economy these crimes are rising. Dating sites waste your time as you dodge amateur scammers, and the danger has increased because organized thieves now wait for a bigger payday by striking when you are in their home country. A common setup is that you and the girl are robbed together so it looks random. These romance crews are patient. The first trip can seem perfect. You fall in love and start sending money for English lessons, preparation, travel costs, and emergencies. Then the volume of requests exposes the truth. The money is not used as promised and she has no plan to be with you. Many women on dating sites avoid marriage agencies to hide their history, bad behavior, and the oversight an agency would impose. Trying to meet a foreign bride on international dating sites is loaded with risk.

Not Selecting the Right Matchmaking Service
There is no excuse for choosing a poor introduction service or buying agency hype. Many agencies sell a fantasy where any man can easily get a young, beautiful, all-encompassing wife. Do not believe marketing. Verify. Established agencies have customer experiences on third-party review sites. Read them. If you try a new agency with no record of client satisfaction, you accept clear risk.

Do not choose by price. Choose by value. Cheap often leads to disappointment. Then you pay more to try again, lose time by missing your goal the first time, and spend extra months without the love you want. International Introductions serves discerning men who are serious about finding the right wife and who want professional support to make it happen. Most of our clients are business owners and professionals who value their time and understand the difference between what we do and what other agencies do to clients. Investigate any agency. Type the agency name plus “scam” and see what appears. Please view our suggested guidelines in choosing a marriage agency.

A good agency protects, informs, and looks after its male clients during visits and while they are away.

Walking Into a Trap

On a first trip many men are surprised by how many young, attractive Colombian women seem interested. Once a few women half his age want to meet him, a man starts dating much younger women than he planned. He changes his criteria to chase younger and more attractive women, none of whom he likely can actually secure as a real partner. After a taste of something he never had in the United States, maybe not even when he was young, he cannot reset to what is realistically attainable. He falls into a trap. His impulsive, rigid requirements get harder to meet as he ages. He keeps hope because for a short time he has had the company of a young woman, so he tells himself it can happen again. Or he points to a friend of a friend with a wife 30 years younger and asks why not him. It can happen, but it is the exception. I cannot tell a man what he can or cannot attract. That is his call. But men who did poorly with American women when they were young are unlikely to do well with young Colombian women when they are old. Most who chase this path become chronic wife hunters and end up alone. Chasing exceptions rarely wins. Staying within realistic expectations does. If you keep flying to Colombia to meet women for marriage without success, your methods are wrong.

Not Asking for Information from an Available Resource
We are a source of information, but many men do not seek our guidance, sometimes to their detriment. The International Introductions website offers brief advice and practical insights on key topics, but it does not cover everything. Most men prefer to figure things out on their own and are not inclined to take advice, which is fine. For those who want added attention or deeper insight, I am available to share my experience, knowledge, and suggestions on women and relationships, legal and immigration issues, and personal strategy and well-being.

Not Acting Like a Man

Be yourself and have her like you for who you are. Always be honest and truthful. Do not exaggerate your wealth or plant false expectations. If you are well-to-do, downplay it. If something in Colombia feels cheap, keep it to yourself unless you want to be seen as rich. It is better to be perceived as a fair man than as a “nice guy.” Most Colombian men are aggressive and forward with women. Women complain about machismo, but that does not mean they want weak or timid men. You will get more respect by being strong, decisive, and in charge. You are expected to lead and to make decisions. Set expectations, and say so when you see an attitude or behavior you will not accept.

On my second visit to Colombia I had just finished dinner with a tall, smart, good-looking Colombian woman. We were in a taxi. She was talking to my translator. She asked me what we were doing next. I said, since you are so interested in talking to the translator, why don’t the two of you do something and drop me at the hotel. Two seconds later she was apologizing and convincing me to change my mind, and after that I never had anything less than her full attention. You can say, Jamie, you are just a big attention-seeking baby. Yes, I am, and those are my expectations when I am with a woman. That is what I am used to and I will not accept less. Hold yourself in high regard and at the same time live the qualities and values women want. If you are a good man and fun to be around, women will work to keep that company and they will show appreciation and attention. If the woman you are with does not enjoy being with you, plenty of good women in Colombia will.

Not Adjusting to a Long Distance Relationship
A long-distance relationship runs on optimism, trust, and frequent video calls and chats. A Colombian woman who loves you will want daily contact. If the frequency drops, something changed. Regular “I love you” and “I miss you,” plus sharing the routine events of each day, builds the bond and keeps you inside each other’s lives even from different countries. Know what she is doing in Colombia. As long as you both have concrete plans to be together within a few months, a loving, committed relationship can stay strong with daily communication.

Not Understanding Colombian Women

Some men believe that to succeed with Colombian women you must embrace and respect the Latin culture, learn the language, and adopt their traditions. That is nonsense. The emphasis should not be on you becoming Latin. It should be on the woman learning your culture, your language, and your traditions. You are the one bringing structure, values, and standards that work. At the same time, understanding how Colombian women think and behave is critical to your success. The positive traits of Colombian women are obvious and widely known. They are happy, loving, passionate, warm, affectionate, attentive, fun, enjoyable, sexual, feminine, easygoing, loyal, family-oriented, supportive, undemanding, and more. The charm is real. It is the dark side that few men are aware of. What follows is a blunt and honest look at the less flattering cultural and behavioral patterns that are common among Colombian women. We tell you this to prepare you. You need to see reality so you do not project your expectations onto women who were raised in a different world. You must know what is acceptable and what is not, recognize red flags early, and remove unsuitable women before they waste your time, money, and patience. International Introductions does not sell you on the typical Colombian woman, who in most cases would be a disaster for our regular client who is an intelligent, educated, successful, business or professional from North America or Europe. What we deliver is our ability to identify and help you meet one of the rare gems of Colombia. A woman who carries the warmth, femininity, and family values of her culture without the rot that ruins so many. Our role is not to fuel daydreams about Latin passion. It is to help you find a woman of real quality who is beautiful, capable, grounded, and ready to love and support a man with ambition and self-respect. To do that, you must first understand the majority. Once you grasp what is normal and widespread, you will value the Colombian gem you ultimately find.

To understand Colombian women, start with some context about Colombia. Like much of Latin America, Colombia is poor and corrupt. Half of the population is impoverished. Colombia is a country rich in natural resources, yet one can find young, abandoned girls in tattered dresses eating discarded food off the streets. Alongside third-world poverty is corruption embedded in every cranny of Colombian society. The character of the women is affected by the inadequate economy and culture of corruption. Most of the website promotes many of the positive characteristics of Colombian women, but, like everyone, they are not perfect.

There is deep-seated ignorance at a depth one would not see in the United States. The words “I don’t know” are heard so often it must be the country’s slogan. To me it’s incomprehensible how so many can know so little. Most Colombian women would be unsuitable for the complexities of the United States and the social groups of most educated and professional American men. The weak education that most Colombians unknowingly endure limits their ability to function and compete in the world market. The schools lack discipline, materials, and qualified teachers. The educational system does not teach critical, analytical, quantitative, inquisitive, rational, logical, quick (brainstorming), creative, and goal-oriented thinking or self-determination, self-responsibility, and self-reliance. It’s mainly memory-based. Content is given less consideration than style and other superficialities. On the surface, many Colombian women look like the total package, yet many cannot form a substantive thought. They don’t know what to do or what to say. Their ignorance makes them unable to articulate anything. Many can’t connect cause and effect or take hold of an opportunity placed right in their hands whether it is for love, work, or personal satisfaction. Common sense, proper etiquette, ethics, knowledge of current events, geography, laws, standards, and technology are all lacking. Many have such little practice using their minds that they will learn more slowly (if at all) than a typical American child. Areas that may be lacking or beyond repair would include curiosity, motivation, concentration, persistence, dedication, effort, and energy levels, all of which help a person learn and advance. Extensive ignorance brings on stupidity and the inability to understand many of the parameters, nuances, technologies, and interconnections of a modern, sophisticated life. An inactive mind not schooled in holding and using information creates forgetfulness, which is very prevalent in Colombia. Many can’t remember what’s not in front of them, and what’s in front of them they don’t understand. I’ve met Colombian women who did not remember when they were born or what their home address was or that they already went out on a date with a man they want to meet. Colombia has a 93% literacy rate, which sounds fine, but I can tell you from experience that many can’t comprehend what they read.

Almost all Colombians complain about corrupt politicians. What Colombians won’t acknowledge is that it’s not just the politicians and bureaucracies that are corrupt; it’s the people who support and tolerate the system. It’s not just the rich; it’s almost everybody. In a corrupt society, those who refuse to play are disadvantaged, so participation spreads and a different value system takes root. Nepotism and cronyism are also a big part of Colombia. Without connections, most Colombians can’t advance. Colombians will often recommend friends or relatives for services, but such recommendations are rarely based on the quality of the service. Since the social and moral cost of long-standing, pervasive corruption is not taught to young Colombians, the corruption continues to endure as it has for hundreds of years throughout Latin America.

Sustaining corruption runs on lying. Most Colombians are incessant liars. Even for the most inconsequential matters they lie or conceal their real thoughts and intentions. Colombian women have great difficulty saying, “No, thank you.” You have to press for a clear no, especially if they sense any chance of friction or discomfort. Most Colombian women will not say no to a date invitation to your face; they simply do not show. That is why we speak with the women in private after each date to find out how they actually feel. Or they may show and waste limited dating time before their lack of interest becomes obvious; for that reason we also follow up in private to probe for inconsistencies or indifference. The frequency and manner of evasions we encounter are the basis for many of my procedures. My priority is to identify true intentions, discourage dishonesty, and remove unreliable women from the agency. Telling the truth is not part of the Latin culture, but it is part of how we conduct business.

Few Colombian women have experiences outside of Colombia. Many Colombian women have never been outside the boundaries of their city, and most have never met a foreigner. Colombia is not a reading and writing, information-seeking society; and this limits the scope of their perceptions and views. For example, often the women will write to the men about their beautiful Colombian beaches, but beautiful compared to what? Few of the women have seen beaches outside of Cartagena, Barranquilla, and Santa Marta, which are usually gray, brown, dirty, and ugly from untreated industrial waste and sewage discharge. There is no pollution control and normally no trash cans, so what Colombians would consider as beautiful beaches, most Americans would want to shut down. This parochial knowledge skews their understanding of how things really are and how things should be. Gossip, rumor, and misinformation are prevalent in Colombia.

Most Colombians are deeply proud of their country and often feel that Colombia, its culture, and even its Spanish stand out from neighboring nations. At the same time, some will say the world’s perception of Colombia is unfair while also sharing stories of tragedy and crime that help explain why the country still struggles with a negative image. This patriotism is usually emotional rather than based on data; people defend Colombia out of loyalty, not statistics. Criticism of the country is rarely well received, but at some point you will need to explain how certain things work differently in your home country. It is also common for visitors with limited experience to become enamored with Colombia and to idealize it based on a short trip. When you travel somewhere few of your compatriots know, have a great time, and meet someone special, it is easy to feel you have discovered a hidden paradise. However, a sheltered vacation with International Introductions does not show you the full realities of life in Colombia.

Persistence is not a trait of most Colombian women. They don’t have a get-up-and-go attitude or the endurance to keep going until they reach their goal. For example, they may look for work for a couple of months, not find anything, and then stop and conclude no work is available. Or they will give up and leave the marriage agency because they didn’t get married after three months, six months, or however many months they thought it should take; they assume it’s not going to happen. Persistence is replaced by wishing, hoping, or having faith that what happens or does not happen is up to God, not them. Few actually take the steps to achieve their dreams by planning, preparing, and taking non-stop action to get what they want. Men who are driven to get what they want, when they want it, will be considered intense, yet that will not exclude you from their interest. Colombian women are very playful, but the downside is that they can remain playful even when it is time to be serious. Colombian women are also quick to generalize. If, for example, they have a bad experience dating one Black man, they will generalize that Black men are not good for them based on that one experience. They may date an American man and, if he loses interest, assume American men don’t like them and give up on meeting American men. Colombian women are easily influenced and intimidated by what their friends and family may say; few dare to take chances. They are inclined to play it safe, conform, and follow the crowd.

One of the rarest sights in Colombia is a clock; don’t expect to see many. Colombian women don’t watch the time, and punctuality is not a habit most Colombians practice. Colombians will not respect your time because they don’t value their own time. They are very good at wasting time and don’t mind waiting or doing things in the slowest, longest way possible. The only time Colombians are in a hurry is when they are in a car. Regardless of road conditions, weather, or the number of people in or near the streets, expect one speed: fast.

In front of you, most Colombian women will be polite and proper, but out of sight most Colombians are rude and ill-mannered. Normally, this bad behavior does not come from ignorance but from a general disregard for others. It would not be so easy for Colombian terrorists to recruit or force Colombian men and women, for a few hundred dollars per month, to kill innocent Colombians who have never done them any harm if there were not such a low regard for others. The general rudeness of Colombians becomes evident when you watch them drive. They simply do not respect the right-of-way. As a pedestrian, you are more likely to be a target than a reason to yield. I have never seen people look more frightened than those crossing the streets of Colombia. Unknown to most, the car horn is the official street language of Colombia. Whenever it is evident that you are either entering or exiting a taxi, the driver behind the taxi is going to honk his horn, as if that will change the fact that you still have to get in or out. If you are standing on the sidewalk talking to someone, a taxi driver will honk to let you know he is available, as if you didn’t know how to flag a taxi if you needed one. If a woman is walking on the sidewalk, a male driver will acknowledge her by sounding his horn, because obviously there is no better way for him to introduce himself. If you are crossing an empty street and the closest driver is a good three blocks from you, that driver will honk at you out of frustration because he was not able to hit you. In Colombia you will hear more car horns in one week than in all your life in the United States. The rudeness of Colombians extends to cutting in line, bringing uninvited guests to dates, pretending to be someone else on the phone, hanging up on you, ignoring the etiquette of response, avoiding accountability, hiding from obligations, borrowing and not returning, playing music late at night as loud as possible until early morning, and, most of all, not doing what they say they will do. Colombians have a very difficult time doing what they say they will do and believe that any excuse, most of which will not be true, forgives their misdeed.

For example, before you meet any woman, she must email us a positive response to your invitation. When we schedule an introduction at her convenience, we ask her what she will do if she can’t make the appointment. We keep asking this question until she tells us that she will notify us. We don’t tell her to call us; we have her tell us that she is going to call if there is any problem. We then have her verify that she has our phone numbers. We then ask if she will have our phone number with her at all times before her introduction, just in case she needs to reschedule. They all say yes. Approximately 6–12 hours prior to her introduction, we call to confirm that she will be attending and again repeat the above questions, verifying that she has our phone number and address, the means to arrive on time, does not foresee any conflicts with work, school, or family, and that she will notify us if she can’t make it and will have our phone number with her to do so. After all this handholding, guidance, and reminders, about 40 percent of the women don’t show to their first invitation, and approximately 90 percent will not call to cancel their date. The man doesn’t immediately know this (such information is provided later), because he may have 12 women in front of him and not realize we may have invited 20. Of the eight who did not show, he will most likely meet seven on the second, third, fourth, or even fifth invitation attempt. When we ask the women who did not show for an explanation, almost all will apologize and acknowledge that they should have called, but then explain why they couldn’t. This rude habit of not showing or calling is common between Colombian friends, between Colombian businesses and customers, among job applicants, and even at the highest educational and social levels of Colombia. It is common for Colombian doctors to charge for missed appointments, because even for their own medical attention Colombians cannot be relied on to show. Colombians are not considerate people unless they are in front of you. Many Colombian women are irresponsible and unreliable and simply can’t do what they say they are going to do. Rarely is anyone held accountable in Colombia. We do our best by removing women who have a pattern of being unreliable, and we keep track of all negative behavior for your consideration when evaluating the women.

Most Colombian women are not able to manage their lives. They let things happen instead of making things happen; they react instead of act; they wish and hope instead of prepare and do. While 40% of the women who express an interest in meeting you won’t show for their first appointment, it’s not because they don’t want to; it’s because they are disorganized, and it takes very little for them to get distracted, delayed, forgetful, behind, or lost. Their lives go from one crisis to another, and they are not able to focus on anything except the crisis or chore at hand. They are not good at task juggling, problem prevention, remembering, seeing around the corner, or managing their time. It’s an ongoing cycle of unmanaged problems, misuse of time, forgetfulness, accidents, and “emergencies.” As a minor example, consider the chaos many Colombian women have with cell phones and why their numbers are constantly changing (two to three times a year): they were careless and lost their phone; they were short of money and sold their phone; their phone plan was dropped due to lack of payment; their phone was stolen either by a pickpocket or by force because they were distracted with an activity or an emotion and did not know how to react, or they carelessly place themselves in a situation to be robbed; they loaned their phone to a friend or family member who may still have it or lost it. Often they don’t have their cell phones with them, or their battery is dead. Now take this situation with cell phones and apply it to bigger things, and you can see that having such a woman around the house will lead to one mishap after another.

So with all this, how are we able to have an average of 30–35 interested women, pre-selected by the man, in front of him within the first 48 hours of his visit? How is it possible that we are able to help men find good matches and maintain a consistent reputation for success for so long? It comes from effort and experience. We know Colombian women and what it takes to find the best Colombia has to offer. You won’t find better assistance in avoiding the pitfalls of international dating than International Introductions. A man who chooses elsewhere is a man who doesn’t understand what you now know.

Not Taking Responsibility for Your Mistakes
If you cannot find a good Colombian bride, you have no one to blame but yourself. It is not bad luck. Luck is not the driver here. You make your luck. If you are persistent and follow our guidance, you will succeed. Men who fail to find or keep a Latin woman made one or more of the mistakes above. Do not blame the women when you ignored the evidence. Many men in love overlook hard proof that a girlfriend or fiancée is cheating. They suppress facts that clash with their feelings and desires. You are at fault if you used a bad plan, used the wrong methods, showed no confidence, forgave bad behavior, ignored your gut, compromised what mattered, lost your senses, missed obvious signs, and used poor judgment. Colombian women are transparent and straightforward. If you are not dazzled by beauty, they are not hard to read. Conniving behavior usually comes with blunders that only a captivated man would ignore. In general they have less formal education, less knowledge, and less experience than you. You hold the advantages to choose wisely. International Introductions gives you the information to avoid common errors and ongoing access to advice as you seek a foreign bride.

Colombia is not a country of angels where American men should wander alone. Most Colombian women will not suit you. Even after removing many, there is still plenty of value to be found. If you choose a woman who can think, learn, and grow with your guidance and patience, you can live with her limits, which will shrink over time. A good man with clear objectives can find a wife with qualities most men will not find at home. With our help you can find one of Colombia’s gems. Use the extra attention, planning, and support you receive during your stay and let us help you bring home the right woman.