Foreign Brides and International Dating
The Mistakes Men Make
Greater rewards carry greater risk, and this same principle applies to international dating. A beautiful and loving foreign bride is the life-time prize for men who can avoid the hazards of international dating. I have seen thousands of interactions between American men and Colombian women. From these observations you will have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes I and others have made during our search for foreign brides. While there is no bump-free path to love, there are established methods to accomplish the goal of finding an exceptional foreign bride. What you are about to learn no international matchmaking site will tell you. It’s strong, direct, provoking, and it may even scare you away, but in the end you will see why it shouldn’t. We enlighten you to the realities of foreign women and international dating, so that you can better manage and function in a different cultural environment. It’s a candid insight into Colombian women, which can be applicable to most foreign women in underdeveloped countries, and the mistakes men make in search of foreign brides, and the steps you can take to avoid such errors. The fact that you understand your future bride may not be in your hometown distinguishes you from the majority of your fellow men. By following our advice and understanding the elements of your quest, you can continue to distinguish yourself from the majority and avoid the following mistakes most men make in their search for foreign brides.
Ignoring the Numbers
The number one mistake men make in looking for a foreign bride is meeting too few women. In your home country you would meet and date one woman at a time. But to travel thousands of miles, spend thousands of dollars, and use your limited vacation time to meet one foreign woman is a plot better suited for a fictional romantic movie. It is not a successful route for finding a foreign bride. Over ninety percent of the men who travel to a foreign country to meet one potential foreign partner never marry. Ask yourself, did you marry the last woman you went out with? Did you marry the one before that, or the one before that? Probably not, yet for some reason guys think by going to a foreign country those poor odds of meeting your wife on your next date disappears. You are asking to fail by searching for a foreign bride and dating her in the same manner as you would women from you home country. Your approach must change. The women are different in behavior from what you are use to, their culture is unfamiliar to you, the surroundings are new and outside your element of control, your investment in time and money is much larger, and your window of opportunity during a short visit is smaller. The risk in planning to meet only one Colombian woman is high. I have had clients spend months writing to one Latin woman only to realize before they can unpack their suitcase that she is not the woman for them. I have had many men call us or come to our door with sad stories of how they were suppose to meet a woman they were communicating with that never showed up at the airport, or the woman they met was not right for them, or had a boyfriend, or was not spending enough time with them, and they were now in a strange city not knowing what to do. They did the worst thing possible in international dating: visit one foreign woman. It is basic common sense that the more women you meet the greater your odds of success in finding a foreign bride. It is a fact that decision-making improves when you expose yourself to more options (in this case foreign women), and what’s a more important decision than selecting a wife. We work on providing you as many options as possible in the shortest amount of time so you can spend the majority of your stay dating your number one choice. Don’t bind yourself to the past conditions of domestic dating and limit your options when you have the opportunity to meet many foreign women, one who may be a wonderful and unexpected surprise that would not have made your list of one.
One Happy Man… Many Hopeful Women
Another regretful mistake men make is not committing to a visit. They think about coming to Colombia and meeting beautiful Latin women. They wonder, could it really be true that many attractive women would be interested in meeting me. They ask me and others a lot of questions. They visit our website often. But they can’t muster the muscle to actually go. These men will never know what could have been. It stays a dream instead of a dream come true. Understand, it is very normal to have hesitancy prior to such an undertaking. Our introduction service is unique and unusual. The familiarity is not there for immediate comfort and acceptance. You’re not accustomed to having an outsider find you a wife. You’re not use to traveling to non-touristy destinations. You’re not a rock star with groupies, experienced in having an audience of attractive women. And you’re not comfortable with a service from an industry (international matchmaking) that, rightfully so, does not have a good reputation. Damn right you should be cautious! Even after careful research and contemplation it is normal to feel nervous. Understand that this feeling won’t change until you’re off the plane and meeting your first Colombian woman. That first smile will be your point of no regret. If you can dream about it, you can begin the process of finding a foreign bride. Furthermore, we conduct this process in an environment that supports and cares for you every step of the way.
Writing Before Meeting
While it would seem writing to foreign women prior to your visit would be a good thing, it carries unexpected negatives. We have had clients write women months in advance of visiting and within one hour of meeting these women, for whom they had such high hopes, realize she’s not the one. A two hour date can tell you more about your attraction and connection to a woman than months of writing. For the men who chose to write to their top three or four selections prior to using our Personal Introductions Romance Tour Service, where they will meet many Latin women, there has been no empirical benefit in doing so. It is very rare for such men to actually marry the women they wrote. They marry women they didn’t write. The top selections men make based on photos and a profile is very different than the selections men make after interacting with the women.
Another potential obstacle to writing a few women prior to meeting many women is that it can create an emotional bias towards those women you are writing, which prevents you from objectively and attentively comparing the attributes of every woman you meet equally. For example, if you know girl A from writing and meet girl B, you may stick with girl A due to your familiarity with her. But if you did not know either girl A or B you might have gone for girl B, because no woman had a familiarity advantage. One of the reasons for ending our correspondence service was due to the very low results men would get from traditional writing and meeting one or two women. The very best results come from men who charge forward and meet many women. The worst results come from men who fall in love with or have high expectations for a woman they have not even met.
Writing to foreign women is an act in futility. It limits the amount of women you can meet, it does not reveal the true chemistry you may have with her, it’s a medium (emailing) where there is a high level of competition from other men, and it’s very time consuming. Those are the obvious liabilities, but there are more obstacles few men know about. The vast majority of Colombian women, including the most educated, will not delete any emails from their inbox (you’ll see why this hurts you). This peculiarity may be tied to Colombians in general not throwing anything away that potentially may have some use or value. Many Colombian women randomly open emails while ignoring other emails. This could be because they’re paying for Internet time by the hour, so they will open one email from one man while ignoring an email from another man. Since the delete process is sacrilegious to Colombians, unopened emails quickly fall off the first page where they are now out of sight and usually forever forgotten. More often than not, emails that are read are not answered at that moment, leaving the possibility that those emails drop off the first page and become forgotten. The vast majority of Colombian women are not computer literate and don’t understand all the functions and features of their mail account. They don’t know what the symbols or indicators mean, so they may respond to one email multiple times while ignoring another email because they can’t recognize what was already answered. If your email automatically goes to her junk folder she will never see it, because they won’t think to look there. Sometimes they will accidentally delete all their emails because they are not aware of what they are doing. Or they will accidentally sort the columns to something besides the receive date (for example subject) and your email may not show up on her first page, which means it’s never seen. Sometime they won’t know how to open and look at pictures, due to photos being blocked by their default settings or not seeing that there are photo attachments, so by not seeing your photos they don’t answer. Often they will share their passwords with friends and sisters who will then respond to her personal emails without her knowledge. Sometime they will forget to close their mail account in an Internet café where strangers will play around answering her emails. Sometime they will forget their password, which means they lose all their emails, and then they have to open a new account. Most Colombian women would prefer to use Messenger instead of communicating by email, and many don’t know the difference. And communications by phone are just as difficult as by computer in Colombia. Most Colombians do not write phone messages down, so messages don’t get relayed. Almost no Colombians have voicemail for their landlines. When they hear our landline voicemail, approximately 90% don’t leave a message or know what to do. They hang-up and call back repeatedly, or talk while the voicemail is giving them instructions, or leave a message without leaving a name or phone number. Many will not answer a cell phone when they don’t recognize the calling number. Approximately 80% of the women will not respond to our emails unless we call them. On average we have to call a woman four or five times to get a response from our emails. These are only some of the reasons why the use of emails and phones to initiate contact with Latin women has such a high failure rate for men.
Going It Alone
Unless you know the women, language, and surroundings of your foreign destination, and have plenty of time for your search, going it alone without professional assistance is bound to have troubles. You will be susceptible to security risk and the hazards of getting lost and being taken advantage of. You will be subject to unexpected events and downtime. You will be prone to misunderstood communications and missed signals from your encounters. Why take a trip where you have to watch your back. You can go it alone with no guarantees, or you can enjoy the comfort and security of International Introductions. We coordinate and provide for every aspect of your visit, so it goes as planned. Your time is spent enjoying not worrying. No other marriage agency will offer you the professional on-site support and attention that we do. We do everything we can to provide a very satisfying visit.
Not Knowing Her
Not knowing the woman you are going to marry is a big risk. It is best that you make no assumptions about foreign women. Assume they know nothing about you and that you know nothing about them until you learn otherwise. While we help, by providing many important questions to ask and tips to know, you still have to see proof that her actions match her answers. There are many ways to learn the desires, character, and potential of the women you are interested in and still have fun. For example, take her to a casino. Most Colombian women will not know how to play blackjack, so teach her and play. You will now see how attentive she is, how quickly she learns, and how open she is to learning something new. You will also get other indications about her, such as how logical she is, how well she follows instruction, and the risks she will take with you money. Activities together are the best way to see the real her. Passive activities such as watching television together, is an unproductive waste of the limited face to face time you have to know her. However, watching one quality movie together and sharing your impressions afterwards can be enlightening.
It is best not to trust anyone in Colombia until they have shown that you can trust them. This is opposite of my personal style, which in the United States was to trust people unless they give you reason not to, but in Colombia this view will not serve you well. Take the time to know your woman. As for timelines, there are none. For some guys it can take years; for guys who are adapt at communication and observation it can take a few months. Whatever it takes, it wasn’t enough if you end up like these guys: I didn’t know my wife didn’t graduate from high school. I didn’t know my wife couldn’t learn English. I didn’t know she had worms. I didn’t know she was going to sit around all day and do nothing. I didn’t know she wanted me to wear a condom even after we married. It’s hard to feel sorry for guys that on a fundamental level didn’t know the women they married. If you are going to rush into a life long decision and not really know the woman you are inviting into your life, then an unwanted outcome should not be a surprise.
Committing Too Quickly
Regardless of the high number of women you will have to choose from, you will likely have an immediate favorite at any given moment. The urge will be to focus all your time with that one woman. However, a man’s initial top choice often does not stay that way. In the early dating stages unwanted surprises can reveal attributes you or she may not like about each other. What may have been, for example, your third favorite or even a new introduction can rise to the top. An early favorite comes primarily from physical attraction. But in the long run, if that woman does not have other aspects that are important to you, her beauty and attractiveness will diminish, whereas a woman who does have the compatibility and personality you seek, and is in the physical range of what you like, will become more attractive to you as you get to know her. It is best not to disregard the other women you like prior to knowing for sure that the current favorite has and can give all that you want in a wife. Meet all the women you selected that wanted to meet you, go on dates with the women you liked, and continue with the dating of multiple women until you know for sure you made the best choice based not on lust, but on mutual compatibility and attraction. Once you are down to one strong interest you can then focus on developing the relationship and love.
Taking a Vacation
You’re going to have a good time in Colombia and its going to feel like a vacation, but you can’t treat it as a vacation. Enjoying your companion only in vacation mode can skew the woman’s perception of how her life will be in America, and it prevents you from experiencing how day to day life would be with her under normal circumstances. It’s easy to have fun and get along when you’re doing enjoyable activities, but how is she going to respond to day to day activities. We provide you a house to assist in such matters. Put yourselves in the role of husband and wife without using outside assistance (maid). Observe how she shops for food, cooks, cleans up afterwards, does the laundry, maintains the bedroom and living area, or how she helps you with any of these. What’s her take on a simple walk together? You don’t need an event to have a good time. You should be able to enjoy her company in the most mundane of places. Events can create distractions. Almost anyone can have a fun time at a fun place. For some guys they gage the fun time they have with a woman as a determinant of compatibility, when it is really just the outings that are creating the enjoyment, not the woman. If you only see your woman in play mode you are not going to know if she is going to be a responsible contributing member to the family. To determine such capabilities, casually provide her with multiple activities set at different times that require different degrees of effort to complete, and then determine if the results are acceptable to you. These activities would be everyday stuff you would expect from your partner. Some examples could include making particular arrangements prior to your visit, following a cooking recipe in Spanish that you are familiar with but that she is not, or having her buy something that fits the exact parameters you want. A foreign woman can love you very much, yet not function well when it comes to assisting you to the standard you expect.
If you are serious about finding a foreign bride then don’t waste precious time during your visit. There should be potential candidates with you at all times. There is too much to learn about foreign women for you to squander this valuable time. Rest-up before and after your visit, not while you are here. With us, you are either meeting or dating women every waking moment you are in Colombia.
Over the years I would ask random Colombian women, what do you think of a guy who mails a camera to a girl after a few letter exchanges with her? Or what do you think of a guy who buys a girl a laptop after knowing her for six days? I get the same basic answer every time: he’s trying to buy her. If you ask the woman who receives the gift, she will give you a different answer. Most do not want to think they are being swayed, so they will say he’s being generous. But these women know, just as well as the women who admit it, that you’re trying to buy them. Now when I ask women, why do you think some men do this? They don’t think it’s because the men are handsome, funny, or interesting. Just the opposite; they think it’s because the men don’t see themselves as handsome, funny, and interesting, which is why the men feel they need to spend or give money to women they barely know. So no mater how you would like to project your gift-giving, it’s really a persuasive, purchasing tactic, which, yes, may work. Not at getting the woman to love you, but in getting, only temporarily, the woman’s attention, time, or body. In the long run it will not get her to love you. If you want to attract a woman who is not going to be loyal, trustworthy, reliable, or sincere, buy her things. She can pretend to love you and you can pretend it’s true love. But the moment hard times hit, or the money flow stops, or she can get money without you by her side, she’s gone. You can’t buy her loyalty and love. Why would you want a partner who you can’t rely on? By far the biggest courting mistake men make is how and when they spend money on women. Money in the beginning of a relationship prior to marriage is destructive to the natural and mutual bonding of a couple. Understand that this has nothing to do with affordability. It’s the value from her perspective, not yours, that’s the corruptive factor that can entice women to be with you temporarily for the wrong reason. Gifts should be at a minimum (birthdays, Valentines, Christmas) or purely sentimental. You first need to evaluate her character and true intent. Her interest in you should be void of any material return. If she suggests that you go shopping for a dating activity, she is seeking a material return. Captivate her without cash if you want love, instead of spending to be the basis of your relationship. Once the love foundation is there, be who you are when it comes to money; however, I suggest you do not financially support her while she is in Colombia unless you requested that she quit her job to focus on English or other studies. Colombian men do not financially support their girlfriends or fiancées and very few Colombian men support their wives’ families. The expectation should not be there for you to be any different than them. Once you are engaged I suggest you purchase a very inexpensive engagement ring because robbery is very high in Colombia. Do not assume any debt she may have and do not loan anyone any money. The more you pay and give the more she will think you’re a sucker.
Be cautious of any request for money. A woman who loves you, even in an emergency situation, will not ask you for money, and she will even decline if family members request that she ask you for money. Some women will directly ask for money, be it for school, family, medical emergencies, medicine, lost property due to robbery, etc. But the more conniving women will be more subtle in how they ask for things. For example, at the mall they may ask, which pair of shoes you like the best? Or do you think this would look good on me? Or she will tell you, I can’t do this activity with you because I don’t have the right clothes, for example, a swim suit for swimming. Or I lost my cell phone or my computer broke, so I can’t communicate with you regularly. Another form for conniving money from you is by saying they were robbed when they weren’t, and to add to their misfortune had more money on them than usual, because they were going to pay or buy something. Now, for example, they can’t pay their rent or buy school items for their child. Be suspicious of women who prefer you give them cash to pay for items instead of you paying for the item directly. For example, suppose you want to go on a trip when you arrive in Colombia, and you can buy the plane tickets for that trip online, but the woman says, if you send me the cash I can get a discount. Be concerned with any woman who loses the cash you give her to pay for a particular expense. Don’t accept any woman calling you cheap. None of these women will be as productive and hardworking as you have been in you life, and for such women to judge what someone else should be spending on them when they don’t have the capability to do the equivalent for others or themselves reveals a lack of class and character. Such a feeling of entitlement is not a positive indicator for the future. Whatever you give her is probably much more than anyone else is giving her. Women who are truly interested in you are not going to ask you for things directly or indirectly and will be sincerely appreciative of whatever you give them.
Surprisingly some men can’t seem to gauge a woman’s true interest. Both private and public moments are going to demonstrate how a woman feels about you, and in both situations it needs to be the same. In public she should kiss and hold you in front of family, friends and strangers, demonstrating that she is happy to be with you. She will maintain eye contact with you and her smiles and laughter will show that she is enjoying herself. She will want to be with you every conceivable moment when you are visiting her. She will want to be seen with you in public, not in the back of the restaurant. Her primary attention should be directed towards you regardless if her children, friends or family are around. She should share and publicize you to everyone she knows. She will want to have photos of the two of you together looking like a happy couple and to share those photos with others. She will guard how you spend your money. She will be physically very close to you and not want to leave your side. Privately she should touch you and want to be touched by you. She will enjoy and be responsive or initiate making love to you. She will be very touched by small sentimental gifts and flattering words. She will be open to doing activities you want, even if it’s mundane. She will do small favors for you without having to ask. On the phone her excitement and tone to hear from you should be the same whether she is alone or with company. Everyday she will want to know how your day went and to share her day with you. She will tell you daily how she loves you and misses you and will often say how she can’t wait to be with you again. If you are not telling her almost daily that you love her she will say, "What’s wrong, you don’t love me anymore?" She will tell you she is looking forward to having your baby. She won’t lie to you or hide things from you. However, if she must she will lie to others to be with you. The relationship will be smooth and balanced as if both of you are one, and the infrequent problems will be quickly resolved. She will remember the details of all your dates together months afterwards, even though you probably won’t. The signs of love are strong; don’t rationalize if it is not there. Don’t fall in love and seek marriage hoping she will eventually love and be there for you if you are good and kind to her, she won’t. Maintain your common sense, avoid infatuation, control your urges and emotions, and take the time to understand her so you know if the connection has viability, mutual respect, adoration, and love. In general, most Colombian women fall in love very quickly; they’re very emotional and affectionate women. If you are not feeling her passion and touch, she is not in to you.
Beware of terminology. In Colombia there is a broad application of what appears to be affectionate and loving Spanish words that don’t really express true affection or love in English. In Spanish, "Mi amor," which literally translates to "my love" can be applied to strangers. "Mi vida," which literally translates to "my life" can be used with simple acquaintances. Complements have been diluted in Colombia. What sounds like an expression of love may not be. Your translator can clarify the true significance of what is being said.
Chasing the Wrong Woman
Pursuing the wrong woman can destroy your motivation to pursue the right woman. When you waste effort trying to convince a woman to love you, it’s eventually going to break in a wave of heartbreak and disappointment that can halt your resolve to find love with someone different. Love and bonding should come naturally from mutual desires. Men who try to persuade women to be romantically interested in them by giving much and accepting the disrespect that comes from women who are not emotional connected to you are setting themselves up for a crash. Never accept disrespect. When a woman is not expressing interest, let her go. Do not insult yourself by being with such a woman. Trying to win-over disinterested women is an invitation to be taken advantage of. Such pursuits are usually driven by lust, while the only lust she’s returning is for what she can get out of you. Examples of women not to pursue are those who initially expressed disinterest in your profile, but at your bequest, we were able to convince to meet you.
I have never experienced a case where such a relationship ended in marriage. First impressions of attraction don’t usually change for women. Women who delay or avoid intimate time together should be forgotten. Don’t be a man who sacrifices his self-worth and common sense in the hope of capturing a disinterested, beautiful woman.
I had one client who accepted his fiancée’s request not to have sex until after marriage even though she already had a child outside of marriage with another man. She wanted him to wait, but didn’t apply this requirement to the father of her child. The message here is very clear: she was not sexually interested in him. Do not pursue women who are only interested in friendship. Do not pursue women you have already been introduced to who do not show up for a date. For women who are frequently late, you will need to judge the circumstances and their overall behavior towards you to determine the cause and significance of their tardiness. Do not pursue women who cancel dates due "sickness" or some other problem that is not verifiable or followed by an act on her part to see you again. If during your limited stay, she can’t see the importance of trying to get to know you, then she lacks genuine interest. Be careful about pursuing women who only choose the most expensive and high-end restaurants and places to visit. Most Colombian women are happy with simple outings. Evaluate the price based on how much she makes, not by how the price compares to the United States, which in comparison can be a bargain. If you offer to buy her a blouse, does she select the one that would cost her half a month salary? Low maintenance in Colombia can be high maintenance in the United States. Do not pursue women who want to rush into marriage. Do not pursue women who are not enthusiastic in sharing their time, thoughts, attention, heart, and life with you. Often it takes another man’s reality slap to stop a guy from chasing the wrong woman, so share the particulars of your relationship with a close friend, which will help you make the decisions that serve your best long-term love interest.
Not Telling Her No
It is very important that you say no to occasional requests that are not necessary for your girlfriend and see how she reacts. This has nothing to do with your means or desire to satisfy her request, but to gain insight in how she takes it. Most of my clients are successful men that have the means to give their women what they want. But we know what happens when we give children all that they want; they become spoiled and make a scene when they don’t get what they want. In many respects many Colombian women are no different than children. After being accustomed to your generosity, hearing a no may cause them to pout or get angry or change their mood or behavior in some unpleasant manner. I’ve seen Colombian women who when pampered with clothes, beauty services, and displays of higher status, turn disdainful and pretentious. Colombia is a class society and people of lower status are often looked down on. So surprisingly when you have a simple girl who would be subject to such treatment suddenly attain outward signs of success and a brighter future, she changes and expects preferential treatment from those who were once her equals. Most men, who are at this point in the relationship, will be guided by their emotions and be blind to such changes. A rush to overindulge women who have had very little in their lifetime can create unhealthy expectations from what you thought was a sweet woman; that is, if she is not well grounded.
Not Having Sex
Not having a sexual relationship with your woman prior to marriage is a big risk. I know some men have religious reasons for abstaining, but I also know of such men having unsatisfying sexual relationships with their wives. Being compatible sexually and liking what you see in bed is too important to leave to faith that everything will be okay after the wedding night. Very few Colombian women abstain prior to marriage. The sexuality of Colombian women is very much like American women. The women are sexually liberal. They feel good about their sexuality, they flirt, they like receiving attention from men even when they have a boyfriend, and they enjoy being women. Nudity in the popular print media is more common in Colombia than in the United States and Colombian women are obsessed with beauty. In one month you can see more front page news about beauty pageants than you would your whole life in the United States. It’s hard to meet a Colombian woman who does not consider herself attractive and sexy, their self-esteem is high. Plastic surgery is common and the preference is liposuction over exercise. You do have a slightly higher percentage of women who are sexually more conservative than in the United States, but this only applies to a very small minority of women. The frequency of sex for single Colombian women is less than for American women due to the lack of privacy Colombians have at home. There are many gaudy motels in Colombia are rented by the hour for sexual trysts. Most Colombian women do not use birth control. While any sexual relationship has to be consenting, it’s normal for this to take place by your second visit. Women who will go to bed with you immediately would likely go to bed with most anyone immediately. In the beginning of your visit, the women know you are seeing other women and they will likely be more reserved until they know they have no more competition. There are a much higher percentage of foreign women willing to provide sex for money in developing countries than in the United States. Such women will reveal clues to their lifestyle.
Doing It on the Cheap
This is not a journey for short cuts. Men who don’t budget and prepare sufficiently to make the best use of their visit often end up with nothing. It is best to save the appropriate amount of money to give yourself the best opportunity to find a match on your first visit, while enjoying your trip without concerns for funds. An extended stay where you meet and date many women does just that. If your first trip is not successful, all the savings from cutting corners would be lost if you continue your search on a second trip. Limiting the time of your stay to find and know your future bride, limiting the amount of women you can potential meet, limiting the communications by not using a human translator, limiting the appropriate services that can boost your odds of success, are limitations that will not pay off. Marrying a foreign bride requires more attention; don’t short-change yourself by not spending the resources for doing so. International Introductions targets men who don’t want to take multiple trips to find a wife. If one is making frequent trips to a foreign country to look for a wife you erase any savings you get by doing so on the cheap and compromise the best methods for finding a foreign wife.
Using Dating Sites
International dating sites with foreign women from developing countries have a high and growing number of scammers. These dating sites are not going to be diligent about protecting you as we would, and any scammers removed from the dating site for unethical practices typically reappear under different names. You not only have foreign women making a living by scamming men on dating sites, but crooked entrepreneurs hiring many sweet-looking women stationed on computers and webcams utilizing elaborate methods of deception, including kidnapping and extortion, when you visit her. With the weak global economy such crimes are on the rise. International dating sites can be a big waste of time dodging all the single amateur scammers, but now it has become even more dangerous because organized thieves are looking for a bigger payoff by striking when you are in their home country. Often the setup is that you and the girl are robbed, making it appear as if the robbery were random. These romance scam operations are more patient than individual scammers. During your first visit with the woman everything can appear fine. You fall in love and you start supporting her and paying for English lessons, needed preparation and travel expenses, and "emergencies" until finally it hits you by the sheer numbers of request, that you are being taken and that the money is not going for what you thought and she has no plans to be with you. Many foreign women on dating sites avoid marriage agencies to conceal their history and bad behavior and the feared oversight they may get from a marriage agency. Trying to meet a foreign bride on international dating sites is fraught with risk. We provide the support and protection so this does not happen to you.
Not Selecting the Right International Introduction Service
There is no excuse for selecting a poor introduction service and believing in the marriage agency hype. The ploy of most marriage agencies is to entice you to believe there really is this imaginary world where any man can easily get a beautiful, young, all encompassing wife. But one does not need to believe any marriage agency. Established marriage agencies will have prior customers experiences posted on third party review sites for you to research. If you try a new marriage agency without a recorded history of customer satisfaction, obviously, risk comes with that choice. Selecting a marriage agency based on price, and not value, normally leads to disappointment. For example, there’s the higher cost of trying again with another agency, the cost of lost time by not accomplishing your objective the first time, and the additional months of living without the love you seek. International Introductions appeals to discerning men who are serious and focused on finding the right wife and want professional support to make this happen. Most of our clients are business owners and professionals who value their time and appreciate the difference of what we do versus what the other marriage agencies will do to you. Please view our suggested guidelines in choosing a marriage agency to select the right introduction service for you.
Women who don’t want the presence, assistance, services (translation and English lessons) of a good marriage agency during the dating stage usually have something to hide from you. A good marriage agency is always going to be protecting, informing, and watching after their male clients when visiting or while away.
Walking Into a Trap
On first experience many guys are surprised by the amount of young and attractive Colombian women who appear to be interested in them. Once they find out there are some women half his age who would like to meet him, the man starts dating much younger women than he anticipated prior to his arrival. He eventually changes his criteria seeking much younger and attractive women, none of whom he is actually able to land as a legitimate partner. But since he has had a taste of what he has never had in the United States, maybe even when he was young, he is not able to adjust his standard to what he can realistically attain. He is now in a trap where his impulsive rigid requirements become harder and harder to achieve as he ages. He keeps hope, because for at least a very short period of time he had the company of a young woman, which to him means it can happen again. Or he tells himself that a friend of a friend was able to have a beautiful wife 30 years younger than him, so why can’t he. And he is right because it can happen. But it’s the exception when it does. I can’t tell another man what he can or cannot attract in a woman; that is only for him to determine. But men who never did well with American women when they were young are not likely to do well with young Colombian women when they are old. Such men usually end up as chronic wife hunters and ultimately alone. Striving for the exception doesn’t have many winners, keeping within realistic expectations does. If you are a man having to make many trips to Colombia to meet women for marriage, without success, your methods are wrong.
Not Asking for Information from an Available Resource
We are a source of information, but many men fail to seek our knowledge and sometimes to their own detriment. International Introductions’ website provides brief advice and practical insights on relevant topics, but it does not provide all there is to know. We know most men would rather figure it out themselves, and are not inclined to take advice, which is fine with us; however, for those who want added attention or insight, I am always available to share my experience, knowledge, and suggestions whether it is about a woman’s history or a technical, legal, or personal mater.
Not Acting Like a Man
For the most part you want to be yourself and have her like you for who you are. You should always be honest and truthful. Do not exaggerate your wealth or create any false expectations. However, if you are well-to-do, downplay this. If you find certain items or services inexpensive in Colombia, keep that to yourself, unless you want to be perceived as rich. It is better to be perceived as a fair man instead of a nice guy. Most Colombian men are very aggressive and forward towards Colombian women. While most of the women will complain about machismo men, they don’t necessarily like nice men and they certainly don’t like weak or timid men. You are likely to garner more respect from the women by being strong, decisive, and in charge. You are expected to be the leader and decision maker. Set the expectations, and let her know if you see an unacceptable attitude or behavior from her.
On my second visit to Colombia I had just finished dinner with a very smart, good looking Colombian woman. We were in a taxi and she was talking to my translator when she stopped to ask me what we were going to do next. I said, since you’re so interested in talking to the translator, why don’t the two of you do something and drop me off at the hotel. Well, within two seconds she was apologizing and convincing me to change my mine, and I never had anything less than her full attention afterwards. Now, one can say, Jamie, you’re just a big attention seeking baby, and I would say yes I am and those are my expectations when I am with a woman; that is what I am use to and I won’t accept anything less. You need to have a high regard for yourself and at the same time possess the qualities and values sought by women. If you’re a good man and a fun guy to be around, women will want to retain such company and show their appreciation and attention. If the woman you’re with doesn’t enjoy being with you, there are plenty of good women in Colombia who will.
Not Adjusting to a Long Distance Relationship
A long-distance relationship requires optimism, trust, and frequent communication via emails, messenger, and phone calls to stay close to each other. A Colombian woman who loves you will want at least daily communications. If she drops the frequency of communication something has happened. The regular expression of love and feelings from being apart (missing you), and the sharing of routines and events of the day are part of the bonding process that keeps both of you involved in each other’s lives, even though you are in different countries. Know what she is doing in Colombia. As long as there are plans that the two of you will be together within a few months, the connection can stay strong by maintaining daily communications in a loving committed relationship.
Not Understanding Colombian Women
Some men believe you need to embrace and respect the Latin culture, learn the language, and adopt the traditions to understand and succeed with Latin women, but that’s not so. The emphases should be on the woman learning your culture, language, and traditions. However, knowing how Colombian women think and behave is critical to your success. The positive attributes of Colombian women are no secret. They’re overwhelmingly happy, loving, passionate, warm, affectionate, attentive, fun, enjoyable, sexual, feminine, easy going, loyal, family oriented, supportive, undemanding, and much more. It’s the dark side that few men are aware of. Below is a blunt summary of the negative cultural and behavioral nature of Colombian women. We frankly tell you this so you can better understand the differences between Colombian women and the kind of women you are experienced with so that you can avoid making wrong assumptions and be able to quickly eliminate the unsuitable women. International Introductions does not sell you on the typical Colombian woman, who in most cases would be a disaster for our typical client who is an intelligent, educated, successful, business or professional man. We sell you on our ability and knowledge to help you find one of the gems of Colombia. A woman of beauty and capability who has the positive influences of the Latin culture and is untarnished by the negative aspects of her culture. Understanding what constitutes the majority of Colombian women will give you a greater appreciation for the Colombian gem you ultimately find.
To understand Colombian women, you first need to understand a little about Colombia. Like much of Latin America, Colombia is poor and corrupt. Half of the population is impoverished. Colombia is a country rich in natural resources, yet one can find young, abandoned girls in tattered dresses eating discarded food off the streets. Alongside third world poverty is corruption imbedded in every cranny of Colombian society. The character of the women is affected by the inadequate economy and culture of corruption. Most of the website promotes many of the positive characteristics of Colombian women, but like everyone they are not perfect.
There is deep-seated ignorance at a depth one would not see in the United States. The words, I don’t know is heard so often it must be the country’s slogan. To me it’s incomprehensible how so many can know so little. Most Colombian women would be unsuitable to the complexities of the United States and the social groups of most educated and professional American men. The weak education that most Colombians unknowingly endure limits their ability to function and compete in the world market. The schools lack discipline, materials, and qualified teachers. The educational system does not teach critical, analytical, quantitative, inquisitive, rational, logical, quick (brain-storming), creative, and goal oriented thinking or self determination, self responsibility, and self reliance. It’s mainly memory based. Content is given less consideration than style and other superficialities. On the surface many Colombian women look like the total package, yet many literally cannot form a substantive thought. They don’t know what to do or what to say. Their ignorance makes them unable to conjure up anything. Many can’t connect cause and effect or take hold of an opportunity placed right in their hands whether it is for love, work, or personal satisfaction. Common sense, proper etiquette, ethics, knowledge of current events, geography, laws, standards, and technology are all lacking. Many have such little practice using their minds that they will learn slower (if at all) than a typical American child. Particular areas that may be lacking or beyond repair would include curiosity, motivation, concentration, persistence, dedication, effort, and energy level, all of which help a person learn and advance. Extensive ignorance brings on stupidity and the inability to understand many of the parameters, nuances, technologies and interconnections of a modern, sophisticated life. An inactive mind not schooled to holding and using information creates forgetfulness, which is very prevalent in Colombia. Many can’t remember what’s not in front of them and what’s in front of them they don’t understand. I’ve literally met Colombian women who did not remember when they were born or what their home address was or that they all ready recently went out on a date with a man they wanted to meet. Colombia has a 93% literacy rate, which sounds fine, but I can tell you from experience that many can’t comprehend what they read.
Almost all Colombians will tell you their politicians are corrupt. What Colombians won’t acknowledge is that it’s not just the politicians and bureaucracies that are corrupt; it’s all the people who support and abide by this system of corruption. It’s not just the rich; it’s almost everybody. In a corrupt society, those who do not participate would be at a disadvantage, therefore this influences almost everyone to participate in corruption and learn a value system different than ours. Nepotism and cronyism is also big part of Colombia. Without connections, most Colombians can’t advance. Colombians will often recommend friends or relatives for services, but be careful because such recommendations are rarely based on the quality of their service. Since the societal and moral cost for this long-standing, pervasive corruption is not taught to young Colombians, the corruption will continue to endure as it has for hundreds of years throughout Latin America.
Sustaining corruption requires one to lie, and most Colombians are incessant liars. Even for the most inconsequential matters they lie or conceal their real thoughts and intentions. Colombian women have great difficulty saying, No thank you. You have to pull and tug to get them to say no, especially if they perceive any chance that this will cause friction or discomfort. Most Colombian women will not say no to a date invitation in front of you, they simply will not show, which is why we talk to the women in private after each date to discover how they really feel. Or they may show up and waste your limited time dating, before you see their true lack of interest, which is why we talk to the women in private to inquire about any inconsistencies or lack of interest. The extent and manner in which Colombian women lie forms the basis for many of our procedures and methods. It is a primary focus for us to recognize true intentions, dissuade dishonesty, and remove dishonest women from the agency. Telling the truth is not part of the Latin culture, but it is a part of how we conduct business.
Few Colombian women have experiences outside of Colombia. Many Colombian women have never been outside the parameters of their city and most have never met a foreigner. Colombia is not a reading and writing, information seeking society, and this limits the scope of their perceptions and views. For example, often the women will write to the men about their beautiful Colombian beaches, but beautiful compared to what. Few of the women have seen beaches outside of Cartagena, Barranquilla, and Santa Marta, which are usually grey, brown, dirty, and ugly from untreated industrial waste and sewage discharge. There is no pollution control and normally no trash cans, so what Colombians would consider as beautiful beaches, most Americans would want shut down. Their parochial knowledge of the outside world skews their understanding of how things really are and how things should be. Gossip, rumor, and misinformation are prevalent in Colombia.
Most Colombians are very proud of being Colombian, often feeling they are better than neighboring Latin countries or that their Spanish is better than other Spanish speaking countries. They normally feel the world’s perception of Colombia is wrong, yet in the same breath will share stories of tragedy and crime that ultimately demonstrate Colombia is deserving of its bad reputation. Their excessive patriotism and proudness rarely has anything to do with actual achievement; they defend out of pride not facts. Most don’t like hearing criticism of Colombia, but at some point you will need to point out the differences of how things are in Colombia and how they are in your home country. It is not unusual for Americans with limited impressions of Colombia to be enamored with Colombia, extolling attributes to the country based on very limited experience. When you travel to a place few Americans have visited, had a good time, and found someone special, it’s easy to think you may have found a hidden paradise. A sheltered vacation with International Introductions does not show you the realities of Colombia.
Persistence is not a trait of most Colombian women. They don’t have a get up and go attitude or the endurance to keep going until they reach their goal. For example, they may look for work for a couple of months, not find anything, and then stop and conclude no work is available. Or they will give up and leave the marriage agency because they didn’t get married after three months, six months, or however-many-months they thought it should take; they assume it’s not going to happen. Persistence is replaced by wishing, hoping, or having faith that what happens or does not happen is up to God, not them. Few actually take the steps to achieve their dreams by planning, preparing, and taking non-stop action to get what they want. Men who are driven to get what they want when they want it will be considered intense. Yet that will not exclude you from their interest. Colombian women are very playful, but the downside is that when it is time to be serious, they can also be playful. Colombian women are also quick to generalize. If for example, they had a bad experience dating one Black man, they will generalize that Black men are not good for them based on that one experience. They may date an American man, and if he loses interest, assume American men don’t like her and give-up on meeting American men. Colombian women are easily influenced and intimated by what their friends and family may say; few dare to take chances. They are inclined to play it safe, conform, and follow the crowd.
One of the rarest sights in Colombia is a clock; don’t expect to see any. Colombian women don’t watch the time and being on time is not a practice in which most Colombians partake. Colombians will not respect your time, because they don’t value their own time. They are very good at wasting time and don’t mind waiting and doing things in the slowest, longest way possible. The only time Colombians are in a hurry is when they are in a car. Regardless of the condition of the roads, the severity of the weather, or the amount of people in or around the streets, expect one velocity, fast.
In front of you, most Colombian women will be polite and proper, but out-of-site most Colombians are rude and ill-mannered. Normally, most of this bad behavior does not come from ignorance, but from a general disregard for others. It wouldn’t be so easy for Colombian terrorists to recruit or force Colombian men and women for a few hundred dollars per month to kill other innocent Colombians who have never done them any harm if there wasn’t such a low disregard for others. The general rudeness of Colombians becomes evident when you watch Colombians drive. They simply do not respect the right-of-way of others. As a pedestrian you are more likely to be a target than a reason to yield. I have never seen people look more frighten than those crossing the streets of Colombia. Unknown to most, the car horn is the official street language of Colombia. Whenever it is evident that you are either entering or exiting a taxi, the driver behind the taxi is going to honk his car horn, as if that will alter the fact that you still have to get in or out of the taxi. If you are standing on the sidewalk talking to someone, a taxi driver will honk his car horn to let you that he is available to pick you up, as if you didn’t have the slightest idea how to flag a taxi if you needed one. If a woman is walking on the sidewalk, a male driver will acknowledge her by sounding his car horn, because obviously there is no better way for him to introduce himself. If you are crossing an empty street and the closest driver is a good three blocks from you, that driver will honk at you out of frustration because he wasn’t able to swipe you. In Colombia you will hear more car horns in one week than all your life in the United States. The rudeness of Colombians extends to cutting in line, bringing uninvited guest to dates, pretending to be someone else while on the phone, hanging up on you, ignoring the etiquette of response, avoiding accountability, hiding from obligations, borrowing and not returning, playing music late at night as loud as possible till early morning, and principally not doing what they say they will do. Colombians have a very difficult time doing what they say they will do and believe that any excuse, most of which will not be true, forgives their misdeed.
For example, before you meet any woman, she must email us a positive response to your invitation. When we schedule an introduction at her convenience, we ask her what she will do if she can’t make the appointment. We keep asking this question until she tells us that she will notify us. We don’t tell her to call us; we have her tell us she is going to call if there is any problem. We then have her verify that she has our phone numbers. We then ask if she will have our phone number with her at all times before her introduction just in case she needs to reschedule. They all say, yes. Approximately 6-12 hours prior to her introduction we call to confirm that she will be attending and again repeat the above questions verifying that she has our phone number and address, the means to arrive on time, and does not foresee any conflicts with work, school, or family, and have her state she will notify us if she can’t make it and have our phone number with her to do so. After all this handholding, guidance, and reminders, about 40 percent of the women don’t show to their first invitation and approximately 90% will not call to cancel their date. Now the guy doesn’t immediately know this (such information is provided later), because he may have 12 women in front of him and not realize we may have invited 20. Of the eight who did not show, he most likely will meet seven on the second, third, forth, or even fifth invitation attempt. When we ask the girls who did not show for an explanation, almost all will apologize and acknowledge that they should have called, but will then explain why they couldn’t. This rude habit of not showing or calling is done between Colombian friends, Colombian businesses and customers, those interviewing for jobs, and at the highest educational and societal levels of Colombia. It is common for Colombian doctors to charge for missed appointments, because even for their own medical attention Colombians cannot be relied on to show. Colombians are not considerate people unless they are in front of you. Many Colombian women are irresponsible and unreliable and simply can’t do what they say they are going to do. Rarely is anyone held accountable in Colombia. We do our best by removing women who have a pattern for being unreliable, and we keep track of all negative behavior for your consideration in evaluating the women.
Most Colombian women are not able to manage their lives. They let things happen instead of make things happen; they react instead of act; they wish and hope instead of prepare and do. While forty percent of the women who express an interest in meeting you won’t show for their first appointment, it’s not because they don’t want to, it’s because they are disorganized and it takes very little for them to get distracted, delayed, forgetful, behind, or lost. Their lives go from one crisis to another, and they are not able to focus on anything, except the crisis or chore at hand. They are not good at task juggling, problem prevention, remembering, seeing around the corner, or managing their time. It’s an ongoing cycle of unmanaged problems, misuse of time, forgetfulness, accidents, and "emergencies." As a minor example, let me show you the chaos Colombian women have with cell phones and why their cell phone numbers are constantly changing (2-3 times a year): they were careless and lost their phone; they were short of money and sold their phone; their phone plan was dropped due to a lack of payment; their phone was stolen either by a pick pocket or by force because they were distracted with an activity or an emotion and did not know how to react or they carelessly placed themselves in situation to be robbed; they loaned their phone to a friend or family member who may still have it or lost it. Often they don’t have their cell phones with them or their battery is dead. Now take this situation with cell phones and apply it to bigger things and you should be able to see that having such a woman around the house will lead to one mishap after another.
So with all this, how are we able to get an average of 30-35 interested women pre-selected by the man in front of him within the first 48 hours of his visit? How is possible that we are able to help men find good matches and maintain our consistent reputation for success for so long? Well, it comes from effort and experience. We know Colombian women and what it takes to find the best Colombia has to offer when it comes to women. You won’t find better assistance to avoid the pitfalls of international dating than International Introductions. A man who chooses elsewhere is a man who doesn’t understand what you now know.
Not Taking Responsibility for Your Mistakes
If you can’t find a good foreign bride, you have no one else to blame except yourself. It’s not bad luck. Luck does not play an uncontrollable role in your outcome; you can make your luck. If you are persistent and follow our suggestions you will succeed. Men who are unsuccessful in finding or retaining a foreign bride made one or more of the above mistakes. Don’t blame the women because you ignored the evidence. Surprisingly, most men in love will even overlook hard evidence that their girlfriend or fiancée is cheating on them. They will actually suppress facts that conflict with their perception, feelings, and desires for their woman. You’ve only yourself to blame if you had a bad plan, used wrong methods, didn’t display confidence, were frequently forgiving of bad behavior, disregarded your gut feelings, compromised what was important to you, didn’t keep your senses, missed observations, and used bad judgment. Colombian women are transparent and uncomplicated. If you don’t allow yourself to be beguiled by their beauty, they are not difficult to figure out. Any conniving behavior on their part is usually fraught with blunders that only a completely captivated man can ignore. They are less educated, less knowledgeable, and less experienced than you. You have all the advantages to be able to choose wisely. International Introductions provides ample information for avoiding the errors men make, giving you ongoing access to our advice and assistance in your quest to find a foreign bride.
Colombia is not a country of angels where American men should trend alone. Most Colombian women would not be suitable for you. However, even with the elimination of many there is still bounty to be found. If you select a foreign bride who can think and progress from your teachings and patience, you can live with their limitations, which will become smaller and smaller over time. A good man with clear objectives of what he wants can find a foreign bride with the kind of attributes most men would not be able to find domestically. With our help you can find one of the gems of Colombia. Take advantage of the extra attention, planning, and support you will receive during your stay in Colombia and allow us to help you bring home the right woman.
What Is the Divorce Rate for Men Who Marry a Foreign Bride?
Why It’s Not
No government agency collects such information, so a definitive statistic is not available. The few studies I have seen indicate the divorce rate is lower for men who marry a foreign bride. However, such divorce statistics would be meaningless. Other people’s success or failure with marriage to a foreign bride would have no relevance to your own likelihood of success; there are too many variations for divorce statistics to be a useful indicator. Would you want to match your odds for a successful marriage to a man who proposes to a foreign woman on his first date, or to a man who marries a foreign bride thirty years younger than himself, or to a man who did not communicate sufficiently to know the woman he married. Whatever the divorce rate happens to be, it has no bearing on your ability as an individual to make the right choice. Men who make the effort to be sure that both love and compatibility are in the relationship before marriage to a foreign bride will do much better than men who approach marriage as a selection from a dinner menu. What’s relevant is not the divorce rate, but our success rate. Over ninety percent of the men who use our Romance Tour Service leave excited with the prospects of one or more woman they believe can be their wife, and that’s a meaningful number.