Not knowing the woman you are going to marry is a big risk. It is best that you make no assumptions about foreign women. Assume they know nothing about you and that you know nothing about them until you learn otherwise. While we help, by providing many important questions to ask and tips to know, you still have to see proof that her actions match her answers. There are many ways to learn the desires, character, and potential of the women you are interested in and still have fun. For example, take her to a casino. Most Colombian women will not know how to play blackjack, so teach her and play. You will now see how attentive she is, how quickly she learns, and how open she is to learning something new. You will also get other indications about her, such as how logical she is, how well she follows instruction, and the risks she will take with you money. Activities together are the best way to see the real her. Passive activities such as watching television together, is an unproductive waste of the limited face to face time you have to know her. However, watching one quality movie together and sharing your impressions afterwards can be enlightening.
It is best not to trust anyone in Colombia until they have shown that you can trust them. This is opposite of my personal style, which in the United States was to trust people unless they give you reason not to, but in Colombia this view will not serve you well. Take the time to know your woman. As for timelines, there are none. For some guys it can take years; for guys who are adapt at communication and observation it can take a few months. Whatever it takes, it wasn’t enough if you end up like these guys: I didn’t know my wife didn’t graduate from high school. I didn’t know my wife couldn’t learn English. I didn’t know she had worms. I didn’t know she was going to sit around all day and do nothing. I didn’t know she wanted me to wear a condom even after we married. It’s hard to feel sorry for guys that on a fundamental level didn’t know the women they married. If you are going to rush into a life long decision and not really know the woman you are inviting into your life, then an unwanted outcome should not be a surprise.
I had one client who accepted his fiancée’s request not to have sex until after marriage even though she already had a child outside of marriage with another man. She wanted him to wait, but didn’t apply this requirement to the father of her child. The message here is very clear: she was not sexually interested in him. Do not pursue women who are only interested in friendship. Do not pursue women you have already been introduced to who do not show up for a date. For women who are frequently late, you will need to judge the circumstances and their overall behavior towards you to determine the cause and significance of their tardiness. Do not pursue women who cancel dates due "sickness" or some other problem that is not verifiable or followed by an act on her part to see you again. If during your limited stay, she can’t see the importance of trying to get to know you, then she lacks genuine interest. Be careful about pursuing women who only choose the most expensive and high-end restaurants and places to visit. Most Colombian women are happy with simple outings. Evaluate the price based on how much she makes, not by how the price compares to the United States, which in comparison can be a bargain. If you offer to buy her a blouse, does she select the one that would cost her half a month salary? Low maintenance in Colombia can be high maintenance in the United States. Do not pursue women who want to rush into marriage. Do not pursue women who are not enthusiastic in sharing their time, thoughts, attention, heart, and life with you. Often it takes another man’s reality slap to stop a guy from chasing the wrong woman, so share the particulars of your relationship with a close friend, which will help you make the decisions that serve your best long-term love interest.
Some men believe you need to embrace and respect the Latin culture, learn the language, and adopt the traditions to understand and succeed with Latin women, but that’s not so. The emphases should be on the woman learning your culture, language, and traditions. However, knowing how Colombian women think and behave is critical to your success. The positive attributes of Colombian women are no secret. They’re overwhelmingly happy, loving, passionate, warm, affectionate, attentive, fun, enjoyable, sexual, feminine, easy going, loyal, family oriented, supportive, undemanding, and much more. It’s the dark side that few men are aware of. Below is a blunt summary of the negative cultural and behavioral nature of Colombian women. We frankly tell you this so you can better understand the differences between Colombian women and the kind of women you are experienced with so that you can avoid making wrong assumptions and be able to quickly eliminate the unsuitable women. International Introductions does not sell you on the typical Colombian woman, who in most cases would be a disaster for our typical client who is an intelligent, educated, successful, business or professional man. We sell you on our ability and knowledge to help you find one of the gems of Colombia. A woman of beauty and capability who has the positive influences of the Latin culture and is untarnished by the negative aspects of her culture. Understanding what constitutes the majority of Colombian women will give you a greater appreciation for the Colombian gem you ultimately find.
To understand Colombian women, you first need to understand a little about Colombia. Like much of Latin America, Colombia is poor and corrupt. Half of the population is impoverished. Colombia is a country rich in natural resources, yet one can find young, abandoned girls in tattered dresses eating discarded food off the streets. Alongside third world poverty is corruption imbedded in every cranny of Colombian society. The character of the women is affected by the inadequate economy and culture of corruption. Most of the website promotes many of the positive characteristics of Colombian women, but like everyone they are not perfect.
There is deep-seated ignorance at a depth one would not see in the United States. The words, I don’t know is heard so often it must be the country’s slogan. To me it’s incomprehensible how so many can know so little. Most Colombian women would be unsuitable to the complexities of the United States and the social groups of most educated and professional American men. The weak education that most Colombians unknowingly endure limits their ability to function and compete in the world market. The schools lack discipline, materials, and qualified teachers. The educational system does not teach critical, analytical, quantitative, inquisitive, rational, logical, quick (brain-storming), creative, and goal oriented thinking or self determination, self responsibility, and self reliance. It’s mainly memory based. Content is given less consideration than style and other superficialities. On the surface many Colombian women look like the total package, yet many literally cannot form a substantive thought. They don’t know what to do or what to say. Their ignorance makes them unable to conjure up anything. Many can’t connect cause and effect or take hold of an opportunity placed right in their hands whether it is for love, work, or personal satisfaction. Common sense, proper etiquette, ethics, knowledge of current events, geography, laws, standards, and technology are all lacking. Many have such little practice using their minds that they will learn slower (if at all) than a typical American child. Particular areas that may be lacking or beyond repair would include curiosity, motivation, concentration, persistence, dedication, effort, and energy level, all of which help a person learn and advance. Extensive ignorance brings on stupidity and the inability to understand many of the parameters, nuances, technologies and interconnections of a modern, sophisticated life. An inactive mind not schooled to holding and using information creates forgetfulness, which is very prevalent in Colombia. Many can’t remember what’s not in front of them and what’s in front of them they don’t understand. I’ve literally met Colombian women who did not remember when they were born or what their home address was or that they all ready recently went out on a date with a man they wanted to meet. Colombia has a 93% literacy rate, which sounds fine, but I can tell you from experience that many can’t comprehend what they read.
Almost all Colombians will tell you their politicians are corrupt. What Colombians won’t acknowledge is that it’s not just the politicians and bureaucracies that are corrupt; it’s all the people who support and abide by this system of corruption. It’s not just the rich; it’s almost everybody. In a corrupt society, those who do not participate would be at a disadvantage, therefore this influences almost everyone to participate in corruption and learn a value system different than ours. Nepotism and cronyism is also big part of Colombia. Without connections, most Colombians can’t advance. Colombians will often recommend friends or relatives for services, but be careful because such recommendations are rarely based on the quality of their service. Since the societal and moral cost for this long-standing, pervasive corruption is not taught to young Colombians, the corruption will continue to endure as it has for hundreds of years throughout Latin America.
Sustaining corruption requires one to lie, and most Colombians are incessant liars. Even for the most inconsequential matters they lie or conceal their real thoughts and intentions. Colombian women have great difficulty saying, No thank you. You have to pull and tug to get them to say no, especially if they perceive any chance that this will cause friction or discomfort. Most Colombian women will not say no to a date invitation in front of you, they simply will not show, which is why we talk to the women in private after each date to discover how they really feel. Or they may show up and waste your limited time dating, before you see their true lack of interest, which is why we talk to the women in private to inquire about any inconsistencies or lack of interest. The extent and manner in which Colombian women lie forms the basis for many of our procedures and methods. It is a primary focus for us to recognize true intentions, dissuade dishonesty, and remove dishonest women from the agency. Telling the truth is not part of the Latin culture, but it is a part of how we conduct business.
Few Colombian women have experiences outside of Colombia. Many Colombian women have never been outside the parameters of their city and most have never met a foreigner. Colombia is not a reading and writing, information seeking society, and this limits the scope of their perceptions and views. For example, often the women will write to the men about their beautiful Colombian beaches, but beautiful compared to what. Few of the women have seen beaches outside of Cartagena, Barranquilla, and Santa Marta, which are usually grey, brown, dirty, and ugly from untreated industrial waste and sewage discharge. There is no pollution control and normally no trash cans, so what Colombians would consider as beautiful beaches, most Americans would want shut down. Their parochial knowledge of the outside world skews their understanding of how things really are and how things should be. Gossip, rumor, and misinformation are prevalent in Colombia.
Most Colombians are very proud of being Colombian, often feeling they are better than neighboring Latin countries or that their Spanish is better than other Spanish speaking countries. They normally feel the world’s perception of Colombia is wrong, yet in the same breath will share stories of tragedy and crime that ultimately demonstrate Colombia is deserving of its bad reputation. Their excessive patriotism and proudness rarely has anything to do with actual achievement; they defend out of pride not facts. Most don’t like hearing criticism of Colombia, but at some point you will need to point out the differences of how things are in Colombia and how they are in your home country. It is not unusual for Americans with limited impressions of Colombia to be enamored with Colombia, extolling attributes to the country based on very limited experience. When you travel to a place few Americans have visited, had a good time, and found someone special, it’s easy to think you may have found a hidden paradise. A sheltered vacation with International Introductions does not show you the realities of Colombia.
Persistence is not a trait of most Colombian women. They don’t have a get up and go attitude or the endurance to keep going until they reach their goal. For example, they may look for work for a couple of months, not find anything, and then stop and conclude no work is available. Or they will give up and leave the marriage agency because they didn’t get married after three months, six months, or however-many-months they thought it should take; they assume it’s not going to happen. Persistence is replaced by wishing, hoping, or having faith that what happens or does not happen is up to God, not them. Few actually take the steps to achieve their dreams by planning, preparing, and taking non-stop action to get what they want. Men who are driven to get what they want when they want it will be considered intense. Yet that will not exclude you from their interest. Colombian women are very playful, but the downside is that when it is time to be serious, they can also be playful. Colombian women are also quick to generalize. If for example, they had a bad experience dating one Black man, they will generalize that Black men are not good for them based on that one experience. They may date an American man, and if he loses interest, assume American men don’t like her and give-up on meeting American men. Colombian women are easily influenced and intimated by what their friends and family may say; few dare to take chances. They are inclined to play it safe, conform, and follow the crowd.
One of the rarest sights in Colombia is a clock; don’t expect to see any. Colombian women don’t watch the time and being on time is not a practice in which most Colombians partake. Colombians will not respect your time, because they don’t value their own time. They are very good at wasting time and don’t mind waiting and doing things in the slowest, longest way possible. The only time Colombians are in a hurry is when they are in a car. Regardless of the condition of the roads, the severity of the weather, or the amount of people in or around the streets, expect one velocity, fast.
In front of you, most Colombian women will be polite and proper, but out-of-site most Colombians are rude and ill-mannered. Normally, most of this bad behavior does not come from ignorance, but from a general disregard for others. It wouldn’t be so easy for Colombian terrorists to recruit or force Colombian men and women for a few hundred dollars per month to kill other innocent Colombians who have never done them any harm if there wasn’t such a low disregard for others. The general rudeness of Colombians becomes evident when you watch Colombians drive. They simply do not respect the right-of-way of others. As a pedestrian you are more likely to be a target than a reason to yield. I have never seen people look more frighten than those crossing the streets of Colombia. Unknown to most, the car horn is the official street language of Colombia. Whenever it is evident that you are either entering or exiting a taxi, the driver behind the taxi is going to honk his car horn, as if that will alter the fact that you still have to get in or out of the taxi. If you are standing on the sidewalk talking to someone, a taxi driver will honk his car horn to let you that he is available to pick you up, as if you didn’t have the slightest idea how to flag a taxi if you needed one. If a woman is walking on the sidewalk, a male driver will acknowledge her by sounding his car horn, because obviously there is no better way for him to introduce himself. If you are crossing an empty street and the closest driver is a good three blocks from you, that driver will honk at you out of frustration because he wasn’t able to swipe you. In Colombia you will hear more car horns in one week than all your life in the United States. The rudeness of Colombians extends to cutting in line, bringing uninvited guest to dates, pretending to be someone else while on the phone, hanging up on you, ignoring the etiquette of response, avoiding accountability, hiding from obligations, borrowing and not returning, playing music late at night as loud as possible till early morning, and principally not doing what they say they will do. Colombians have a very difficult time doing what they say they will do and believe that any excuse, most of which will not be true, forgives their misdeed.
For example, before you meet any woman, she must email us a positive response to your invitation. When we schedule an introduction at her convenience, we ask her what she will do if she can’t make the appointment. We keep asking this question until she tells us that she will notify us. We don’t tell her to call us; we have her tell us she is going to call if there is any problem. We then have her verify that she has our phone numbers. We then ask if she will have our phone number with her at all times before her introduction just in case she needs to reschedule. They all say, yes. Approximately 6-12 hours prior to her introduction we call to confirm that she will be attending and again repeat the above questions verifying that she has our phone number and address, the means to arrive on time, and does not foresee any conflicts with work, school, or family, and have her state she will notify us if she can’t make it and have our phone number with her to do so. After all this handholding, guidance, and reminders, about 40 percent of the women don’t show to their first invitation and approximately 90% will not call to cancel their date. Now the guy doesn’t immediately know this (such information is provided later), because he may have 12 women in front of him and not realize we may have invited 20. Of the eight who did not show, he most likely will meet seven on the second, third, forth, or even fifth invitation attempt. When we ask the girls who did not show for an explanation, almost all will apologize and acknowledge that they should have called, but will then explain why they couldn’t. This rude habit of not showing or calling is done between Colombian friends, Colombian businesses and customers, those interviewing for jobs, and at the highest educational and societal levels of Colombia. It is common for Colombian doctors to charge for missed appointments, because even for their own medical attention Colombians cannot be relied on to show. Colombians are not considerate people unless they are in front of you. Many Colombian women are irresponsible and unreliable and simply can’t do what they say they are going to do. Rarely is anyone held accountable in Colombia. We do our best by removing women who have a pattern for being unreliable, and we keep track of all negative behavior for your consideration in evaluating the women.
Most Colombian women are not able to manage their lives. They let things happen instead of make things happen; they react instead of act; they wish and hope instead of prepare and do. While forty percent of the women who express an interest in meeting you won’t show for their first appointment, it’s not because they don’t want to, it’s because they are disorganized and it takes very little for them to get distracted, delayed, forgetful, behind, or lost. Their lives go from one crisis to another, and they are not able to focus on anything, except the crisis or chore at hand. They are not good at task juggling, problem prevention, remembering, seeing around the corner, or managing their time. It’s an ongoing cycle of unmanaged problems, misuse of time, forgetfulness, accidents, and "emergencies." As a minor example, let me show you the chaos Colombian women have with cell phones and why their cell phone numbers are constantly changing (2-3 times a year): they were careless and lost their phone; they were short of money and sold their phone; their phone plan was dropped due to a lack of payment; their phone was stolen either by a pick pocket or by force because they were distracted with an activity or an emotion and did not know how to react or they carelessly placed themselves in situation to be robbed; they loaned their phone to a friend or family member who may still have it or lost it. Often they don’t have their cell phones with them or their battery is dead. Now take this situation with cell phones and apply it to bigger things and you should be able to see that having such a woman around the house will lead to one mishap after another.
So with all this, how are we able to get an average of 30-35 interested women pre-selected by the man in front of him within the first 48 hours of his visit? How is possible that we are able to help men find good matches and maintain our consistent reputation for success for so long? Well, it comes from effort and experience. We know Colombian women and what it takes to find the best Colombia has to offer when it comes to women. You won’t find better assistance to avoid the pitfalls of international dating than International Introductions. A man who chooses elsewhere is a man who doesn’t understand what you now know.
No government agency collects such information, so a definitive statistic is not available. The few studies I have seen indicate the divorce rate is lower for men who marry a foreign bride. However, such divorce statistics would be meaningless. Other people’s success or failure with marriage to a foreign bride would have no relevance to your own likelihood of success; there are too many variations for divorce statistics to be a useful indicator. Would you want to match your odds for a successful marriage to a man who proposes to a foreign woman on his first date, or to a man who marries a foreign bride thirty years younger than himself, or to a man who did not communicate sufficiently to know the woman he married. Whatever the divorce rate happens to be, it has no bearing on your ability as an individual to make the right choice. Men who make the effort to be sure that both love and compatibility are in the relationship before marriage to a foreign bride will do much better than men who approach marriage as a selection from a dinner menu. What’s relevant is not the divorce rate, but our success rate. Over ninety percent of the men who use our Romance Tour Service leave excited with the prospects of one or more woman they believe can be their wife, and that’s a meaningful number.