"I am just taking a moment to write because I came across your site on the internet while researching the legality of mail order bride services. I am not going to tell you anything you do not already know. You must realize that the only reason males look for foreign brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you. If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day. You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I´m not speaking about monetary wealth here; I´m saying you have no good qualities at all. Surprise! Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality – these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money. You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want “Mr. Big”. The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need). So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young foreign women away from lives of poverty. Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that? You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the United States. You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship. News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real. Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you. Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these foreign women face when they are stuck with losers like you.
"You must realize that the only reason males look for foreign brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you".
"I´m from Colombia, South America and have friends that would love to find men from other countries. Not because we are so poor as some of you seem to think but because the men here enjoy cheating on their wives and getting drunk. But I could be wrong. It does seem you know more about my country than I do."
"If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day."
"You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I´m not speaking about monetary wealth here; I´m saying you have no good qualities at all."
"Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality – these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money."
"You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want ´Mr. Big´."
"The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need)."
"So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young foreign women away from lives of poverty."
"Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that?"
"You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S."
"You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship."
"News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real."
"Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you."
"Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror foreign women face when they are stuck with losers like you."
Every criticism you see from the hate mail section of our website came during the first two years of our business. Since then I have not been able to get one objector to our services to agree to debate me. I suppose I understand why. They have the same standard theme for such attacks: foreign women are desperate; you are a loser who will exploit these women who don’t love you; the Government should stop you from doing this; and we have no facts to prove anything we say, but so what. Unfortunately, in our political system facts are not necessary for new laws. The radical feminist advocates are doing their best to prevent American men from accessing and marrying foreign women, and our politicians little by little have been complying with their wishes. However, not all is lost. The same U.S. politicians are making it easier for you to marry a man. What follows are my comments in response to a blog article objecting to the "mail order bride" industry.
"While not all men who meet women through these services are necessarily abusive…"
"Since desperation is the desirable trait in your mail order bride, the more desperate the better."
"American citizenship in exchange for doleful subservience."
"Men who use mail order bride services meet with rejection from American women."
"The problem must be American women and their overly high standard."
"Instead, he decides that he will go to a part of the world where there are not as many men to compete with."
"Poverty has lowered women’s standards in a mate, as long as he has a job and an ability to get her a green card."
"The selling point of these sites is that foreign women are better than American women."
"I sincerely doubt, however, that the majority of foreign women feel much differently about things like small amounts of kindness than American women do."
"There are women who meet and marry men through these services and the entire situation is one that should be troubling."
"The set-up is problematic."
"A man, who likely has come to this service because he has issues with women who assert themselves…"
"There is something terribly wrong with women who assert themselves and that he deserves a woman who won´t."
"If things sour between them, she literally has nowhere to go."
"No marriage is without conflict, but that´s a perfect situation for conflict to escalate into abuse and quickly."
"It´s a good thing that the Senate is looking into this."
"So clearly exploitative going on right under our noses is nothing to ignore."
"It makes me so sad that you are selling girls and women! People are not something to sell. If you had morals and understood values you would not be involved in this. My only comfort comes from the knowledge that you will get what you deserve. I know this because if there is a God or higher power they will NOT let you get away with something as terrible as this. I hope that you rot in HELL!"
"My name is Sandra, I am a disabled woman due to a car crash accident since I was a child. Checking some forums I found your posting about your site, your business seems good though I´d call it pro prostitution and well it promotes some kind of “trading women” which is not so cool or fine.
Anyway, I am interested on finding a man for making a business marriage in order to get legal citizenship into the United States due to medical issues. I offer a good payment if you help me to find a guy (older than 38 years old and single) for making this business deal, I need an answer soon, please just reply if you can help me with my request. Thanks."
"Hate your web site, out of place in the 21st century!"
"I don´t object to people finding love I object to you making them pay for it and it is almost in my opinion a slave trade but anyway I am a designer not an activist."
"Totalitarian? Very weird interpretation, I have been accused of being a bleeding heart liberal but totalitarian that´s a first! I´m sure foreign women do it willingly to escape the poverty they are in. You are simply, in my opinion, exploiting their poverty anyway targeted at the correct market well done! ewwww it made me cringe saying all that yuk!"
"I often read your website when I am in a self-hating, self-destructing mode. I often cruise through the comments section late at night and cry myself to sleep. I am a 21 year old half Japanese, half European girl who has moved to various countries throughout my childhood. However, my parents were studying in the United States at the time I was born, making me an American woman. When I read through the comments section of your website it makes me realize how useless and disgusting I am, what an utter waste of space I am… I am the product of the "exotic love affair" scenario being glorified on your website. My parents have been married for nearly thirty years now and are loving towards me and to each other… yet, I turned out to be a failure of a human being. There isn´t a second that doesn´t go by when I don´t hearken back to my father´s words about American women being "fat, ugly , materialistic, gold digging slobs" Whenever my boyfriend calls me "beautiful" I cannot fathom how he can think so, and instead hearken back to my father´s words, and go to a very depressing and miserable place within my mind and withdraw from him (both emotionally and physically) and then I go to a website such as this one , read the comments and sit in a vat of depressing gunk until I am too tired to keep my eyes open.
I doubt that most other children who are products of the "exotic love affair" scenario will turn out to be as disgusting and ill deserving of life as I am… but it is a possibility. I think it is important to watch one´s words around children. I am 115 pounds and my waist is 52cm (I don´t think this is any great accomplishment at all, but I am stating it to show that I am within what the World Health Organization deems as healthy and not overweight or obese): however, my father always went on tangents about how American women are "fat Wal-Mart pigs" and this has made me obsessively concerned with my weight. I am very health conscious and lead an active and healthy lifestyle. I don´t eat processed foods or refined sugars, or carbohydrates. I rarely eat bread or grains and when I do, it is brown rice or amaranth or quinoa and un-sprouted whole grain bread. I cook my meals from scratch etc, but I will admit there have been times in my life where I have suffered from eating disorders due to my father´s harsh and unkind words towards American women… something he seems to conveniently forget I am.
What is worse is that strangers often approach me telling me I am exotic, often denigrating American women in the process. When they hear my soft spoken, heavy Canadian accent as I speak they seem confused, astounded because my persona and voice do not match my appearance. I hate being called exotic. I do not understand it, and I feel miserable in the fact that my persona and my body do not match. Often people approach me calling me "senorita" yet I don´t understand a word of Spanish and these men and women seem confused when I reply in my heavy Canadian accent "no hablo espaniol". I suppose because I am Asian/Caucasian this makes me look mestiza, and add to that the fact I was cursed with what people call an "hourglass shape" people are constantly confusing me for something I am not and it hurts. Most of the women on your site look very sweet and girl next door… I never fully understood what the word exotic means I suppose. I always felt women with unconventional features were exotic but perhaps I am wrongâ€¦. I hate the feeling of being stuck between different worlds and not belonging to any. I hate when people approach me speaking Spanish and all I can do is say "I´m sorry, you´re mistaken" in my hideous Canadian prairie "hick" drawl…. Perhaps if I had lived in larger urban centers throughout my "formative years" and didn´t listen to my father constantly put American woman down things would be different. Perhaps things will be easier for the children that come to be as a result of your services… still, I felt it was important to share my story so that people understand that these American women that are so frequently being put down could be one´s future daughters.
I have never cared for money though I am an American woman. I only shop at second hand clothing stores. I take public transportation, even though doing so has gotten me physically assaulted in the past. I have never owned a designer clothing item and have no desire to. I used to volunteer with ESL students, a few of them were Latinas. Many were very sweet girls. I remember there was one girl I tutored. She was Colombian and I liked her very much and thought she was my friend. One day she complimented me on my jacket and asked me where I got it from and I told her that I got it from a thrift store and I can still remember, her mouth twisted in horror and disgust . After that, she never really spoke to me. I felt horrible, heartbroken. Not in a sexual or lesbian sort of way, but because I felt I had lost a friend and because it harkened back to high school, being made fun of for my clothes etc. I was never really able to make friends and often people wanted to be my friend for superficial reasons and upon finding out that I didn´t engage in materialism would often "dump" me or use me for my inability to say "no" when it came to lending money or helping with homework and other such favors. Then I would find out they were making fun of and gossiping about me behind their back despite all the favors and kind things I did for them. I have been used and pushed over by people of all races, Americanized or not I do feel that American culture is very much about materialism, but that there are American people out there who are not about materialism, at all. Also, many foreign nations have less pervasive materialism than America, but some individuals from such countries are very capable of being or morphing into someone highly materialistic.
I hope that you will post my email so that commenters will call me a fat, ugly, gold digging pig and go on about how they are glad to get away from psychotic, disgusting American women such as myself. However, what they will not realize is that, when they marry their foreign bride of their dreams, they are one step closer to producing a woman like me. Confused, self -hating, lonely, (even when surrounded by great people who love and care for them), wanting desperately to be accepted…
Feel free to insult and denigrate me all you want, but please post my email in its entirety."
"Jamie I think you are using the word totalitarian in a wrong way. If a person hates your website it is not totalitarian, they don´t try to force you to do anything against your will, they are only giving their opinion."
"Here in Sweden we have some bad examples about how foreign women have been abused in this kind of arranged marriage where the girls mostly come from Thailand and African countries. I don´t know if they are less smart than Latin women (I don´t think so)."
"Because of the immigrant rules they can´t go to the polls. They have to live in Sweden for two years to stay permanently in the country. I don´t know the rules in the USA, hope they are better."
"Maybe you make some people happy and they are finding love, still you are exploiting the poor situation. And I think it puts some foreign women in a position where it is hard to get out of if they happen to get in to an abusive situation."
"So if a person doesn´t agree with your opinion and your business because they think that you are taking advantage of people´s bad economic situation they are automatically a totalitarian person?"
"What do you know about the whole underlying ideological mindset about a person from a short opinion in some lines here?"
"How can you tell that the person wants to prevent you for what you are doing for a living if she had the power? Maybe she only wants to convince you with her opinion?"
"To judge people to be in any aggressive form as totalitarian is not open minded."
"Now you are demanding my opinion and you didn´t even read my words correctly. I said something positive also which you forgot, “Maybe you make some people happy and they are finding love.”
"You wrote, “If it could have been proven that foreign women from underdeveloped countries were taken advantage of at a higher rate than the general population, the feminist would be blasting this to our leaderless politicians to do something.” The feminist do. And you don´t even have to be a feminist to do so."
"I don´t think Latin women are stupid or “helpless, fearing, passive, and abuse” by nature or culture. But I think some of it is a result of poverty. People who have a bad living situation often think that things can´t get any worse. They are taking the opportunity for a better life. Probably most men in the USA are good people. Some are not. That is the problem."
"Still you take advantage of people´s hopes and dreams for profit. And marriage is for love “in the first place” can´t we say that?"
"I think your business can do as much harm to women as it can “liberate” for some."
"For me your business is a bit dirty. If you did it for free I could understand."
"And if you really would like to do something good for foreign women, work or give some money to helping organizations. At least you can give something back from profiting in this situation in the third world. Maybe you already do?"
"And don´t judge my general opinion on marriage as an institute of love from my opinion about your business!"
"You can defend your business and I can understand that. What I can not understand is the way you try to tell me what my opinion is. I think you have a tendency to be intolerant."
"Then you call my country a socialist state. It is not. It is a capitalist (free market state) as much as the USA with the difference that we are more social system grounded than most capitalist countries."
"If you would not do this for business (and for profit) you would probably have another aspect to the love matching. Knowing that money rules your focus is what puts the dirt in the machinery. I think love should be a commitment of feelings not a market trade."
"By the way, if you think you are going to convince anyone with your raillery, you are wrong."