I have to write this because I just read your "hate" mail and subsequent response by Amy from the United States. I cannot believe the bias this woman has toward your services and others like it. Amy clearly has not been to South America and talked to the people and experienced the lifestyle. I have. I am a young executive with a large international company. I guess I could even be regarded as the "Mr. Big." I have spent quite a bit of time working, visiting, and traveling in South America. The bulk of my time has been in Bogotá. I fell in love with the city, its people, and the lifestyle. I have never seen such friendly people. I would hardly call these people impoverished. These people have tremendous pride in themselves and their country.
The Latin women I found were very kind and passionate, and not once did I feel like they were looking for a visa. In fact the few women I did get to know on a more personal basis would have been much happier for me to stay in Bogotá than move to Canada. Not only are these women beautiful, but many also have very high morals and values that we seem to have lost in North America. I know a few Americans who have moved to Bogotá to be with the woman they fell in love with. After having met some great women in South America, it was very hard to go back to the typical "American Woman." Now that I find myself at a point in my life in which I want a wife and a family, I am glad you have the services that make it easier to meet and get to know a woman before visiting.
Amy, you can´t begin to compare with the women of South America, who would not judge as you do. Amy calls us losers, but I would ask her this: Would a loser head up an executive position in one of the largest food companies in the world? Would a loser pass up the chance for happiness with a Latin woman or keep looking for something that isn´t there in the US? You are right, Jamie, when you talk about personal preference. Like everything in life, some things you like more than others. Even if I don´t find the special someone with your service, I commend you on the service you are doing for others, and I am sure you have put together some very happy couples. I wish you the best success.
We, as North Americans, have all but lost that which attracts me to South Americans. The women in South America are very special and their Latin genes produce a most beautiful, sensual and exciting woman. The men are strong but fall short of social expectations, which has been destructive to the state of marital bliss for centuries. NOTE: most North Americans, and especially the women, do not know the real meaning of machismo. Their families are whole and strong and the entire population is passionate about everything. These are a people, descendants of the Mayans, The Aztecs, The Incas, and royal Castilian Spanish who flourish and celebrate and take time to live and love. The "Latina" has held to virtues that might be listed as "the joy of being a woman," feminine grooming, happiness that men are men, the desire to nurture a tight knit family, and a husband to provide a comfortable home while she tends to the comforts and needs of the immediate and distant family, and I am forced to add that they do so without keeping score regarding household chores.
After traveling the world with my wife for eight years and for another eight years after her death from breast cancer, I have experienced up close the dilemma that the South American woman faces, that which is termed Machismo. After returning to the continent, I have also seen up close the liberated North American woman who now suffers major increases in alcoholism, drug abuse, and heart disease coupled with a general back slide regarding dress and feminine grooming, not to mention her errant and disrespectful children.
In this liberated state, we are generally divorced by the age of 36, (national average: 52% are divorced by age 36) embittered, embattled and lost.
I have had the misfortune to date a few gals from the US of A recently and have been severely disappointed and sometimes horrified at the lifestyle they lead. This has nothing to do with the economic capability of these women. They simply are unavailable to their children, their home, their man of the moment, and ultimately to themselves. They own unreasonable expectations of their men, tattoos, attire that´s old looking and too relaxed, unkempt hair, soiled laundry tossed one piece on top of another, and most of all, an anger that I do not understand. This state of chaos is simply NOT found in South America. Even the most poor have laundry on the line, respectful children, and a smile on their face.
Your hate mail section is interesting, and in publishing some of the same, you have certainly uncovered some of that disarray and anger owned by many western women. The idea that Latina women are almost always impoverished and are therefore bent toward some sort of prostitution and/or the desperate marriage only speaks to the ignorance of the accuser. It is incredible to me that one would try to condemn that which they know nothing about, and if it were to be stated otherwise, no Latina would want what the western woman owns. They certainly do not need to be saved by our frustrated, ill kempt, and angry western female.
I suppose that when an entire female generation is being cast aside in lieu of something better the female will display anger and frustration. It must send a message that your service and services like yours are prolific because they fill a need. There is apparently a need, and you are apparently speaking to that need, both to the Latina and the American male, both of whom are tired of the fight. The origin of that need becomes evident quickly, and I suppose that is grounds for anger though that anger, should be turned inward, not outward.
One cannot apply western values to South American virtues as they aren´t comparable. The word "values" is very different from the word "virtues." They are two different words with two entirely different meanings. Hitler had values. The Latina is looking for male virtues, and the North American male is looking for comfort and appreciation, that which he values. I have not been able to grasp the new idea that offering comfort to your husband is weak or subordinate.
I think we are fortunate to live in an age where messages can be sent and introductions can be made via the Internet at light speed. This technological achievement has caused the world to become immensely smaller. Now the victims of South American Machismo can converse with the underappreciated North American male and new love can be born, nurtured, and APPRECIATED by both contributing individuals from two entirely different cultures.
Thank you for enabling this endeavor with your fine service and do not worry with the naysayer. The North American male has stopped looking for his feminine side and has begun looking South for an attractive, feminine, appreciative woman who is happy to be a woman who yearns to care for a good man. I have come home only to miss that which I experienced in South America. Your service offers mucho.
In 2000 I had my own business and lived and worked in the Miami area. I was in the process of going through a divorce from a typical American woman when I met and fell in love with a terrific woman from Colombia. She had been married to a Colombian man and was in the USA legally, and she needed nothing from me to stay in the USA. I had always desired to get to know a Latin woman but she was the first "Latina" I ever had a relationship with. We were together for six years before it ended, and they were the best years I have ever spent with any woman.
My desire to seek out Latin women does not come from desperation but from my experiences in South and Central America. During my career I worked in Chile and Brazil; I lived in Brazil and Panama and traveled to Colombia and Argentina. While living and working abroad I have experienced the different ways that Latin American people approach life. Here in the USA we need to have two incomes to support our lifestyles. We get up, go to work, go home, eat, work some more, go to bed, and start over the next day. We spend no time with our families and the only time we see our neighbors is when we put out the garbage or when we are pulling into/out of our respective driveways. This is NOT LIVING, it is EXISTING. And do you know why we do this? To "keep up with the Jones´s" so we can buy our flat screen TVs and get our wives the BMW S.U.V. she wants to park next to the Jet Ski we never use. Latin Americans have a different approach to life. Their priorities are family, friends, and then work (money). For them, quality of life does not come from money and possessions but from quality time spent with family, children and friends. I am not saying they do not want nice things, but NOT when you have to sacrifice being with your family or friends to achieve them.
I´d like to address the point about women from matchmaking web sites only looking for "papers." The Latin women I have met during my life are looking for love like everyone else, but mainly they are looking for a man to treat them with respect. Unfortunately, Latin men are VERY Macho and TERRIBLE womanizers (ask any Latin woman in Miami), and in this great modern age of communication they have found that there is a place where men treat their women with respect, the USA! However, for the women in matchmaking websites who are willing to look for love and respect outside of their home countries, it comes at a terrible price. The majority must leave families and friends they have always known and move to another country, so if one of these women is looking for "papers" and finds herself married to a "Loser" (a man who does not treat her with respect), she´ll go back home to her family and friends rather than be treated poorly, even if she was looking for "papers."
Another quality Latin women possess is the almost fanatical desire to look good. They take care of their figures and love to dress femininely. There is nothing more beautiful on this planet than a woman, regardless of what she weighs. But when a Latin woman gets dressed, she is going to look good and whatever she wears will be very feminine and appealing. You will NEVER see a Latin woman wearing a "T" shirt down to her thighs because she´s ashamed of the size of her butt. Latinas are all woman and whether they are getting dressed for soccer, the mall, the grocery store, or a dinner out, they leave no doubt in your mind about their femininity; no matter what their size.
So why would you want to work 60 hours a week, spend no time with your children or friends, just to keep a materialistic, ashamed to look feminine, American woman happy? I can´t imagine why, and in my opinion you would have to be crazy. Unless, you didn´t know that there was another option. When the time comes and I am ready for another relationship, I will seek out another Latin American woman. And fortunately, if I happen to be in an area where there is not a significant Latin population, there are web sites like this one that can help me find the kind of woman I want to be with.
I read your hate mail letter from Amy. Man, she sounds exactly like my ex-wife. (I actually tried to cut and paste it in an e-mail to friends because they would have sworn it was her.) Everything in her hate mail is precisely why I would never have dated another American girl in my life. Four years ago I spent five weeks in Brazil during a vocational exchange through work. I left this country still drooling over blonde hair and Anglo smiles, and returned convinced that women from Latin America are by far more suited for me. Not because I would strike out with American women, not by any stretch of the imagination. By American women standards I had plenty to offer; the BMW, vice president title, and good salary. And I am loyal, moral, and a good man. In my case, I grew up in the northeast with European grandparents and my mother was first generation America. In Brazil I found that Latin women had greater conviction to the European value system that I was more accustomed to.
A year ago I married a lovely girl from Ecuador who I met, coincidently, here in the United States. My best friend was of the same mind and eventually married a Chinese woman whom he too met here in the States. Neither of our wives needed us for green cards. When I met my current wife she was already holding a green card, gainfully employed with a Fortune 100 company, and had applied for her citizenship. And like many of the girls I met in Brazil, she came for a very good family. She was used to a life of maids, servants, and attended the finest private schools. The bottom line is that when I am sick she never leaves my side, when I come home we cook together and have dinner, when we visit her family they treat me as one of their own, without any suspicion, and we are so much in love with each other. The finer points of being a gentleman, like opening car doors and pulling out a chair when she sits down at a restaurant, are lost on American women of today, but very meaningful to my Spanish wife. She enjoys being treated like a lady, and doesn´t assume such gestures are motivated by some hidden agenda.
Unfortunately my ex-wife´s response to my marriage to a South American woman is very akin to the sort of senseless name calling and racist remarks in Amy´s letter. What is probably most disturbing to me, as it should be to anyone, isn´t just how mean spirited her letter was, but how her letter presumed an attitude that American women are above the rest of the world, and are so perfect and unattainable that men not worthy of their affection are exiled to seek the attention of desperate third world women. That is so incredibly racist and bigoted it makes me ashamed to say I come from a country where someone would write that. I commend you for your service. Not everyone is lucky enough as I was to find a lovely Latin bride already established here in the United States. If you don´t live in New York, Florida, Chicago, or southern California, it must be incredibly difficult to find such a rare beauty. Your service does well to offer those interested in seeking something better in life than frozen pizza and an occasional dinner out at Applebee.´s
I am a 45-year-old single male who did what he wanted with his life and now wants to settle down. I love Latina women and have had long-term relationships with ones born in the U.S. These were good women who were honest and sincere and one of them I loved dearly. I would have married any one of them except for a few problems. Most American women (Latina or otherwise) are spoiled by the American way of life and expect everything and put you down or dump you when you cannot provide it for them. Their mothers teach them to "go for the gold" from the time they are little girls and when they get into relationships, they judge the quality of their relationship by the material things that they have. Some of them are ruined by non-existent fathers and bitter mothers who ultimately try to punish the father by teaching their daughters to use men for what they want and to dump them if they don´t get it.
At my age, the majority of women I meet have already been married and have had children and are just looking for someone to be with them in the golden years. I have a hard time with this because I have never been married and want to do the first time thing and see what it´s like. I´m not saying these are bad women at all. I´m saying that the eligible pool of non-married women who do not have kids and are 35 and older is very small. Once a woman is married the first time, all the relationships she will have after that will be related to that first time, and it will be the benchmark for any relationship you will have with her.
I have met and known women from South America who have immigrated to the U.S., and they are not raised like American women. They are not pretentious by nature and are taught to value family above all things. Once they make a commitment, they stick to it for life. They accept their roles and make sacrifices as needed (within reason) to keep the relationship and family intact. This is very important to the man when he is busting his ass and doing everything he can to provide for his family when the going is extremely tough. No man wants to go home and face even more humiliation and degradation when everything he can do is not good enough. Eventually, he stops going home, which leads to the current situation that makes foreign women desirable to American men. It is the women who hold everything together in society and American women have forgotten that or were never taught it!
I have found and hopefully will marry a Colombian woman. (I just wish it did not take so long to get her here.) She doesn´t care about fancy things or where she will live or what she will drive. (She doesn´t drive in Colombia. I already have a car for her here!) What she cares about most is that I love her and want to marry her and start a family. She doesn´t even care about coming to the U.S. She wants to live in Mexico! Baja is sounding better and better to me!!! Everyone should experience true love and the innocence that goes along with it at least once in their lives, and if marrying a foreign woman is the way to find it, then more power to them!!!
This Amy woman obviously has experienced some kind of abuse or conditioning or perhaps she is jealous because American guys are looking elsewhere for women. With her attitude, who would want to marry her? She thinks American men who seek foreign women are useless low lives. She should take a good look in the mirror!!! She is exactly the kind of woman I want to avoid!!!
I felt compelled to e-mail you regarding some of the "hate-mail" regarding your website and the services it offers. There are many reasons why men would look into such a service, and I´d like to present one to you. I´m a university educated Latin American man who was raised and still resides in Canada. I am not a wealthy man, but I am financially, physically, and emotionally secure. I consider myself young at 37 years of age, and thought I would throw my two cents worth of opinions into the ring. I´ll keep this as brief as possible.
I´ve dated Canadian women all my life, which I suspect are not that different from American women. They are smart, funny, independent, beautiful, and yes sometimes difficult. But I suspect that is the case with all women, otherwise relationships would be easy, right? Anyways, I also noticed there was something missing from these relationships that prevented me from taking the next step into marriage. A few years ago, I got my answer. Many of my friends had encouraged me to travel to Europe. Instead, I chose to travel through Central and South America. I visited Mexico, El Salvador, Colombia, Peru, and Chile just to name a few. My initial intent was to connect to my "roots" where I came from and that type of thing. Instead, I had an awakening that I could not put into words. Back in the University, they once made us read a book called "Man´s Search for Meaning." Well, without going into endless details, this trip had answered that question for me. I was amongst people just like me, similar values, similar histories, similar views on life, and similar aspirations. These were the "qualities," if you will, that were missing from my past relationships.
Now, getting back to the subject of using this website and the services it offers. Well, living in Canada does not offer the opportunity to meet many (if any) Latin women who come from where I come from. This website (and others like it) offers men like me the opportunity to meet single Latin women who I cannot meet here.
I must say that I am quite a novice at using the service of an agency, as I have felt no need to do so to date. However, having gone through your site and read the hate mail that you have been subject to, I must say I am even more convinced that you are an upstanding individual.
I have traveled extensively around the globe (I am a four million miler with Delta) and have lived in Brazil, Philippines, Japan, Canada, and the USA. Having lived and traveled to over 80 countries and having had the opportunity to meet women of all different cultures, nationalities, socio-economic backgrounds, levels of education and sophistication, your statements are so true. Most Americans think that foreign women are so vulnerable and looking for that ticket out of poverty. How wrong they are.
My first wife was American and we got divorced in 1996, as I found her to be a money hungry, lying, cheating adulteress. Further, she tried a desperate money grab to obtain as much as she could from my business (a publicly traded software company that I founded). I decided never to get married again and live the life of a bachelor. However, over the last two years or so, the Priest of my Church (I am Catholic) who is from Colombia, convinced me to get married again and to pursue the possibility of doing so with a lady from Colombia. Now, the interesting thing is that there are quite a few Colombians right here in my community, who at first glance I would find eligible to start a relationship with. But his advice to me was to go to Colombia and find a lady who was not so "spoiled" by what he calls "Americanization." So here I am taking his advice.
However, if you were to get Amy´s opinion on this, it would be because I am such a loser and can´t find a compatible woman and I am out to find a vulnerable women from a developing country who is looking for a ticket out of her impoverished lifestyle. I have news for her. I wouldn´t marry another woman from the U.S. if my life depended on it. Just a little background on me, I am a PhD in Computer Science from Stanford University, Founder and CEO of a Publicly Traded Software Company, and a guest professor at XXXX Tech. There are plenty of American women who would want to marry me, but I am convinced that most of them would do it for the wrong reason, which is why I didn´t get married again. In this case, it is not because I am loser, but because of my hard work, accomplishments, and financial stability, that they would seek "the easy ticket" for themselves. I want to avoid this at all cost.
I have dated some very lovely ladies from Latin America (Brazil, Argentina, Peru, Mexico and Venezuela) who I have met through business circles while traveling overseas. They are educated, intelligent, cultured, and accomplished, but at the same time they are so loving, tender, caring and humble. But I haven´t ever been to Colombia nor have I had the opportunity to date any Colombian ladies at this point, and hence I am hoping that your service will help me achieve my objectives. I applaud the service you are providing and wish you the absolute best in your life together and future plans.
Those are some great responses that you have on your site to those dogmatic letters. It is amusing to me that you are accused of "exploiting people´s hopes and dreams." Of the four definitions of exploit, only one of them is negative. Consider the following dictionary definitions of exploit. When used as a noun:
An act or deed, especially a brilliant or heroic one. See Synonyms at feat.
When used as a verb:
1. To employ to the greatest possible advantage: exploit one´s talents.
2. To make use of selfishly or unethically: a country that exploited peasant labor. See Synonyms at manipulate.
3. To advertise; promote.
All other things aside, if you were approaching this selfishly, I seriously doubt you would take the time to publish antagonistic letters on your site and take the time to give them reasoned responses.
I found your website totally by accident. Actually, I had some preconceived notions of foreign/arranged marriages, but then I read the "hate mail" page on your site and found myself mostly nodding in agreement with your responses!!!
If you help make people happy, so what! Nowadays lots of people meet their perfect match online; I know of several, albeit they did have their first face-to-face meeting in their hometowns or regions (Canada, my country). What difference does it make if the woman (or man) is from a "developing" nation? If they have common ground and don´t marry just for the citizenship or for the man to find a "doormat." then I have only kudos to give! (By the way, it´s very demeaning to stereotype Asian and Latin women. The ones I know of these ethnicities would be highly offended to be thought of as less "independent" than Caucasians; and even if they do take a more "traditional" role in their marriage, with their own volition and desire, so freaking what!)
We find new things about ourselves each day! I never thought I´d be writing an approving email to a so-called "mail order brides" service. Anyways, keep up with helping people find each other and don´t let the naysayer get you down!
Thanks and good luck! Wow, I´m no lesbian, but your wife is a knockout!
As a 43-year-old American man who has traveled extensively, I can clearly and truthfully say that by the law of large numbers, American women have indeed become undesirable to American men. In general, American women have had nearly four generations of spoiled entitlement. They have become much less feminine, compete with men as men, have become complacent, overweight, thoroughly critical, and, well, thoroughly undesirable.
A recent government study just published stated that 50% of marriage aged American men are not interested in marriage any time soon, and that another 25% are avowed lifetime bachelors; that is, they have no interest in marrying an American woman. Feminism has left its mark indelibly upon America, and now men and children suffer the consequences.
The unfortunate truth is that more than 65% of American marriages will end in divorce. Nearly 3 out of 4 will be initiated by the woman. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn´t level unsubstantiated "abuse" claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver´s and professional licenses, making him virtually unemployable.
If you were to take up sky-diving, and the instructor informed you that most of the parachutes were defective, would you take the plunge?
So if an American man wants to raise a family with a woman who enjoys being a wife and mother, he must look outside the U.S. borders. Many men, such as I, would love to have a wife and family. I have two undergraduate degrees and an MBA from Duke University; I make a handsome income and you could not pay me enough to marry an American woman. First, chances are, I would not get to keep the family I support. Second, I prefer a woman who is, well feminine. I have found that most foreign women are unapologetically feminine. They are female, and like being female and prefer that I am a man, not a neutered house pet like so many American men have become. So Amy, to your point, I do in fact denigrate American women who have become more like men. See sites created by American men who have had enough, and vote "no" to American women.
I send all the best wishes for putting capable, honest American men together with feminine, honest foreign young ladies. It is much more of a match made in heaven than the abomination that has become the American selfish, entitled free-for-all so called marriage!
I have read word for word your attempt to explain to the deaf ear or "one sided ear" of Amy. Besides her lack of facts, which she tried to weasel around, I don´t believe she expected an intelligent man with the facts to explain to her that "like women" men also want freedom of choice. I believe that she, like so many American women, just want to be heard and not hear anything. She is a typical American Feminist who thinks that words are worth hearing unless it comes from a women´s mouth. You did men a huge service, and you made everyone who I had read this so proud of your truth. I have shared your article-conversation with both men and women.
I am a divorced man of three years from a failed marriage to an American woman that lasted five years and cost me 1.1 million dollar with no children. She was unfaithful in our marriage. From women´s perspective I should have given her another chance. But when a man with two children I know cheated on his wife, the same women said that his wife should leave him. Once again, a biased point of view.
Your service is giving good men a chance to have a fulfilling life. It seems like Amy is upset that men don´t have to put up with the unachievable goals and emotional roller coaster of American women. We just don´t need them anymore. They should be nervous because they will be a dying breed and there will be a lot of lonely American women in years to come. There are a lot of great American women, but now those women are in the minority. A lot of American women forgot what made them so special, "Being a woman!" My mother was the backbone of the family, the moral setter, and the nurturer of the children. Men are so simple with their wants. We want to feel that when we bring either emotional or financial support to a relationship, we will be loved for it, just as we would do for our partner in life. Somewhere in the last maybe 20 years women for some strange reason feel that they are automatically entitled to the best that the world has to offer with no contribution whatsoever. It seems like American women for some reason think they are born a princess. Wow, how naive. It is great that men have the same rights as women to choose who they want to be with. Keep up the good work of making long lasting and successful relationships for BOTH men and women. Like Amy said, it should not matter where the women are from.
I was cruising the web, and to be honest, I don´t know how I ended up on your site, but it struck my curiosity. I read the "hate mail" section and right off I wanted to say that your approach was an excellent way to address criticisms. I think you are providing a service like any other free person, and if someone does not like it, they are free to not use it. I have been on the receiving end of being used for a "green card" and I met her right here in the United States. If the people who criticize you think that we have to go outside the USA to experience that, then they apparently have not read the statistics for illegal aliens in the United States. I wonder if these same people send critical emails to any of the various other large international dating services. Perhaps they don´t since they cater to women more than the men. It appears to me that any time there is a service that might cater to a man, it is viewed as an intolerable entity. I am not saying your service is for men only, but one would have that mindset if, like most woman here in the US, they assume that the women do not benefit and aren´t intelligent enough to make their own choices. While your services are not something I would find myself in a financial position to try I think it is a great service. People say God put someone on this earth for each and every one of us, but that doesn´t mean she would live down the street from you. I love Latin and Hispanic women and find it a wonderful idea that I wouldn´t have to wade through the local club and bar scene to find a match. I wonder if these women who write to you saying "they are just using you to escape poverty" have ever heard of the good old American "gold digger." Do they honestly think we have to go to another country to get used for finances? I live in Atlanta, and you can truly believe I don´t have to go far to find that. I just wanted to say that I support your endeavors and think you should stay strong and continue. If you make one couple happy, then it is all worth it in the end.
I stumbled on your website while looking for statistics regarding the happiness of "foreign" marriages vs. local ones; while it didn´t answer that question, I was impressed by your arguments against critics. Basically, the position you reiterate time and again is that people ought to be free to make their own dissociative and associative decisions -- via the criteria of their own choice -- not hampered by the paternalism or materialism of others. Being a hard-core libertarian, this is something that greatly appeals to me. The other interesting thing is that people refer again and again to the possible unfortunate situations to-be-brides have in their home-country; as if that is somehow the fault of the husband-to-be. And instead of being seen as a knight in shining armor, he is portrayed as an abuser and victimizer.
I have to tell you, I´ve been entertaining thought of travel to Latin America for many reasons, and not the least of which is that I find the women of these regions to possess an almost unbelievable beauty of heart, soul, mind and body. I am drawn in by their culture of caring and kindness, their pride, their confidence, and a quality of great rarity here in the USA, the feminine woman.
I mention this because I have just read through the “hate mail” on your site. I must say that I´m repulsed by the almost violent objection to the services you provide. Feminine women, women who appreciate good men and who are appreciated by the same, and, to put bluntly, women who don´t find it necessary to castrate their mates in order to acquire their misplaced sense of entitlement, are in my opinion the miracle of humanity.
Women in general are the foundation of all that is good; it is the woman´s touch that has guided the hand of man since the beginning. Men in general are simple creatures; it takes little to make him happy and lots to make him otherwise. Like the faithful dog, a happy man will break his back with a smile on his face to receive what only the woman I speak of can provide. I speak of these things with some authority; I was blessed to have spent a good portion of my adult life in the company of one such woman.
To the bitter author of hate; I cannot help but read between the lines. As for your concerns for the women of Latin America as it pertains to the quest of what all aspire to, they are grossly misplaced. Certainly there are women´s causes throughout the world in need of far greater attention. Why would you want to interfere in something as beautiful as men and women moving forward together in that quest?
To present an argument based in hate and bitterness, one that conforms to some pathetic dogma requires a cloak of altruism, a heroic quest for the greater good, and a villain. I see a contrived display of heart wrenching concern from the author who is brought to tears by the plight of the so called impoverished women of Latin America being preyed upon by the so called loser/predators from the north. Uncloaked, it all boils down to the demeaning of those women and the men who find them irresistible for all the reasons stated earlier. It is done in a desperate attempt to comfort themselves when faced with the harsh reality that has been heaped upon them by the feminist movement in its extremist form; a condition that, sadly to say, has become the accepted norm by all but the non-conforming among us. They have painted themselves into a corner and have come to hate the men who they assumed to be theirs exclusively to spoil them without any need of reciprocation, gratitude, or respect on their part. You, Jamie, are their worst nightmare; a villain for sure! Anyone who is in disagreement with their arguably weak point of view is cast as having a nineteenth century mindset. But, as evidenced by the alarming divorce rate here in the US, its affect on the American family and the willingness of good American men to travel thousands of miles in search of a good woman will be the legacy of their efforts. All I can say is thank goodness for the Internet making the world a smaller place.
Jamie, the service you provide, I feel, goes far beyond what you may have intended. Keep up the excellent work.
I meet people frequently who are looking for the "right" person to share life with. Sometimes you have to leave your backyard to find it. I see nothing wrong with this. If critics don´t like it they can change channels. I don´t view the girls as something to be bought, sold or traded.
I had an experience with a Colombian girl that occurred thirty years ago when we were in college in California. She was very beautiful. She would often tell me about Colombia and how the men there indeed "cheat" without batting an eye. It is a part of that machismo culture prevalent in all Latin countries (or maybe all countries for that matter).
She graduated a year before me, so rather than stay the extra year she returned to set up her business and waited for me to join her after my graduation. A year is an eternity when you are that young. In that time she had visits from her ex-boyfriend and little by little he chipped away at her loneliness. She surrendered to him and left my heart crushed four months before I was to join her. I guess I didn´t matter to her at that point, so I withdrew from myself and from women for a long time.
Five years later I received a phone call from my former landlord informing me that she was visiting in California and wanted all of us to get together for a dinner in Ventura. She was still single. I drove up from Malibu and as I walked into the restaurant from across the room I could see her, but she had not noticed me yet. I slowed down to see what I had suffered for all those years earlier. My first thought was that I was a different person now and looking at her I realized that I could never get those feelings back. As I approached she looked up at me with a look of embarrassment. But I kindly took her hand and said it was nice to see her again. There were five old friends at the table enjoying the moment. It was a good evening and I was glad she called our landlord to get together.
After dinner we talked for a bit and she asked me for my address and phone number, which I gave her and we parted. Two days later she called and asked me to meet her at a store in Los Angeles. I went to see her. She said she was returning to Colombia the next morning and asked me if I would drive her to the airport. I thought she could tell me more about her life so I agreed. She asked how I was feeling and I said my life had changed. She wondered if I felt those old days were good times and could I ever see it happening again. I looked at her and said, yes, they were good times then, but I am seeing someone now and I am happy with the moment.
The point of all this is that we are all the same when we are looking for a lasting love and the commitment of marriage. No one lives happily ever after, but if you stick together you can come damn close. For me that would be good enough.
I have dated many women since then and have lived nine years with one. It isn´t the same. If there is anything wrong in our American culture it is the notion that freedom applies to all areas of our lives. It does not! When you are serious about a relationship with someone, your life is not yours alone anymore. If you have chosen wisely, if the hearts are in sync and the emotions are interconnected, you are part of a union. Man and woman were meant to be together, to hold each other up and to be there for one another when this rat-hole world takes its toll. There are some people who will never find it or may never care to. I hope I am not one of those.
Nothing matters more in this life than to be wanted by someone. However you find it does not matter. All I see is you making available is a choice. The viewer can step forward, change his life and bring some joy into a girl´s life. Or he can go elsewhere. Unhappy people will make unhappy comments about something that could do some good. Something they don´t understand. Misery loves company. I have encountered men and women who would qualify as losers in any country. Yes, I even know some young beautiful wealthy women here in America who are losers.
I prefer to see the hope you offer those willing to take the chance.
Was just on your website and LOVED the exchange between you and that man-hating femi-nazi, Amy. I bet you get all kinds of letters like that. I´m a 28 year old unmarried professional, and though I don´t feel I´m ready or financially able to take advantage of a service like yours, I really appreciate what you do. Isn´t it so ridiculous how angry these goofball women get! The irony is that the Amys of the U.S. are the reason us American men look elsewhere. I´m telling you, the traditional American woman is no more. Good luck getting them to pop a bag of popcorn for you. All I see when I look out there are women who want to take take take, but never give. It's disgusting. And just like "denial ain't just a river in Egypt," I really don't believe most of these American women when they deny that they are financially motivated in their guy search. By the way, this is only going to get worse because the younger generations coming up (raised on MTV) all feel that they´re owed all the ridiculous crap American pop culture feeds them.
Keep up the good fight. I apologize for being crass, but I'd be willing to bet the contents of my wallet that Amy is an ugly, butch-haired, pig-faced, lesbian anyway. Either that, or she was in a relationship with a good man and she decided it would be okay to throw on 50 pounds and turn into a harpy. We American dudes have a tough cross to bear. There´s a sea of these women out there. The scary thing is that sometimes they hide it before you take the plunge. Once the "I do" happens, then the real medusa comes out. It's my biggest fear. I see many of my buddies, only in their 20's, already stuck in these types of marriages.
I´m moving to Japan in two weeks. It will be interesting to try the dating scene there. However, my heart lies with the beauty of Latin American culture and women. What man's heart doesn't flutter a bit at the idea of a woman who's ready to be a real woman: to be feminine, beautiful, traditional, sexy, and devoted to their family. It's sad that the dudes who live in these countries crap all over their women. Maybe they would be more appreciative if they could see the "Rosie O'Donnell's" we have to put up with.