I am just taking a moment to write because I came across your site on the internet while researching the legality of mail order bride services. I am not going to tell you anything you do not already know. You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you. If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day. You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I´m not speaking about monetary wealth here; I´m saying you have no good qualities at all. Surprise! Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money. You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want “Mr. Big”. The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need). So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty. Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that? You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S. You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship. News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real. Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you. Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these women face when they are stuck with losers like you.

Sincerely,

Amy XXXXXXX

  Amy, I am going to try to start a dialogue with you. I suspect this will be difficult based on your preference for name-calling, but I will still try to enlighten you on why your assumptions and impressions are not accurate. My experience with people who attack from an emotional, indoctrinated bias is that they are not inclined to learn or change, regardless of the facts. However, my points will serve others. Understand that every point I will make has exceptions, and that forming opinions on infrequent deviations does not diminish the overall benefits for the involved majority.

"You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you".

  Amy, this is not true. Men select foreign brides for a variety of reasons. Some for their ethnicity, some for their values, some for their charm. The list is endless. What would be on the bottom of the list of reasons why men select foreign brides would be desperation. Neither the men nor the women are desperate. The idea that these women would leave their home, family, friends and all the familiarities of their home country for a phony marriage is a sad perspective you have of such women. Believing all inhabitants of developing countries feel impoverished and desperate is a silly notion. The majority of the women on my website are average Colombian women who lead happy, productive lives. They know of only one existence. They do not compare being in your shoes and conclude from this that they have unfulfilled lives. The only ‘pretending’ I see is you pretending to know me and the women you have never talked to. Unbeknownst to you, these women do defend their rights to choose who they marry. For example:

  You would get the same general response regardless of what foreign bride you talked to. But be honest Amy. You don´t have any respect for what these women feel and believe. My guess is that their opinions are meaningless to you because you would rationalize that since they make choices you disagree with they must not know what they are doing. Is this not right?

"If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day."

  Again, you belittle these women. A look at the women´s profiles would tell you that they come from all walks of life. Some are professionals, some are students, some are maids and some do not work, and yes, some cannot find work. However, what makes you think they do not have options for the men and path they take in life? Of course, their economic opportunities are not as strong as in the Western world, but this does not mean their opportunities for happiness is any less so, does it? Or are you correlating happiness with wealth?

"You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I´m not speaking about monetary wealth here; I´m saying you have no good qualities at all."

  Before I speak of me personally, the men seeking foreign women do so out of choice. They have no lack of options. They have preferences. Are you against this choice? Do you believe American women or so high and mighty that any man that chooses not to connect with one is inadequate? You know nothing of my history yet you conclude this. I have a very positive impression of American women and I have been romantically successful with them all my life. I love the American woman´s complexity, independence, strength, diversity, unpredictability and companionship. I love the fight in the American woman. It would not occur to me to see an American woman married to a foreign man from a third world county and think that she did so because she struck out with American men. I would think that she fell in love and he fell in love. But you don´t appear to think in these terms. To you one was lacking good qualities and had no choice. Is this not a fair interpretation? I should let you know that men from all walks of life marry foreign brides. They´re doctors, entrepreneurs, professionals and government employees. The women come from all walks of life and you want to tell them where and how far they should walk.

But let us accept your premise. Let´s say a man did strike out all his life with American women. Does this mean he shouldn´t look elsewhere? Does this mean he should be alone? Is it possible that women of different cultures might have a different perspective in how they evaluate this man, and that what you would consider shortcomings others may find desirable. Is this possible Amy or should we just prohibit his efforts?

"Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money."

  Amy I make no claims otherwise. I just reject the demeaning limitations you assign to these women.

"You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want ´Mr. Big´."

  Amy, I sell matchmaking services, which means like all businesses I have to sell. My “Mr. Big” comment is nothing more then selling off of one of hundreds of criteria men and women apply in dating. Are you telling me some American women do not judge men by their financial stature? Is this what you are telling me Amy, because I said nothing more then this?

"The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need)."

  Boy, did my wife Karina get a bum deal. We´re going to be living in Colombia, so she doesn´t even get that. Again, Amy, you categorize without knowing. I can only assume from the way you like to throw accusations void of facts that your “research” will be just as slanted. Did it ever occur to you to know of what you speak before speaking? Let me stick your foot further into your mouth. While my situation is certainly atypical, your attack on me is personal so I will provide my personal story. My wife comes from a well off family. She was not a member of a Colombian marriage agency nor did she know such things existed. She led a privileged life. She was chauffeured to the University, she traveled to Europe, she owned property and was pampered her whole life. Her family has greater economic wealth than I do and did not want Karina to marry me. I told them Karina would not have a personal maid in the United States and that she would have to contribute with the family workload as most American women do. They told me I was crazy, Karina didn´t even know how to cook white rice. But even against her family´s wishes Karina wanted to marry me. Her family pressured her by cutting off all her privileges anticipating that she would buckle under. When that did not work, they threw her out of the family. Here is a girl with a very large family, where family is everything, being evicted from her comfortable home and catered life and left with nothing. She was shunned from her family for hiding her romance and wanting to marry me. Yet you blindly conclude that she does not love me and I lured her to America because she lived an impoverished life of desperation. I´m curious Amy. Is it occurring to you to say maybe, I should have my facts straight before spitting venom, because if so then there is still salvation for you.

"So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty."

  Amy, if you were to tell these women that they lead lives of poverty they would slap you in the face. The poverty of a woman´s pocket is meaningless to an American man. The impoverishment of a woman´s soul, heart and values is not. Foreign women would consider you the poor person for having the latter. One of the many reasons they are drawn to American men is because we can recognize such difference, as do they.

Amy, aren´t these women adults free to make responsible adult decisions? I have women on my website over fifty years old, so at what age is a woman able to make a decision on her own without your denouncing her ability to do so? My last engagement was with a couple both in their 40´s. Is she another vulnerable young woman, Amy? Who should confirm whether these women are too young or vulnerable to decide who and when to marry? You? Or do you suggest we form a committee to make such a decision for them?

Earlier you said women look for positive qualities in a partner, but at the same time, you don´t believe these women look for such qualities. What makes you think these women are materialistically-oriented? Is it possible that you are the materialist who can´t comprehend other women´s outlooks being different then yours?

"Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that?"

  Amy, I am very proud and happy in what I do. What is even more important is the happiness and joy I bring to the couples we bring together. It appears the only people who are not happy are people like you who enjoy intervening in other people´s happiness. As I said to you before, you won´t directly talk to these women because it would only corroborate what I have been telling you. They select men for marriage out of love for that man. You won´t talk to the ones who have been married for 5 years, you won´t talk to the ones who have been married for 10 years, and you won´t talk to my Mom, a foreign bride happily married to my dad for over 50 years. She raised five children and had a career working for one company for over 30 years. They now lead a life of world travel, family visits and volunteer work. No, I do not think you will ever speak with such women. The thought of your false, shallow book-learned ideals being shattered by the reality of their happiness and real life perspective would be just too incongruent for your entrenched and twisted views.

"You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S."

  Amy, I am a typical American man. My possessions are average and everything I possess came from hard work and endeavor. No woman´s eyes are going to pop out from looking at my possessions. I would have to say that you are the lucky one, Amy. In very few places in the world can a woman say such reckless and unsubstantiated things as you have without consequences. But you live in the United States, so you can promote unproductive agendas and extol feminist myths with no consequences for the damage that entails from your deceptive messages. How lucky you are. But you know what? Your misguided view does not penetrate my well-being. You are correct in calling me lucky. I often tell my beautiful wife Karina how lucky I am to have met her, and you know what Amy? She tells me the same thing.

"You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship."

  Amy, everything you have said is nothing more then an emotional diatribe. You provide no content to your message. You are nothing more then a name caller. I can only imagine that if you had any physical strength you would also be a bully.

"News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real."

  I would agree. Why do you bring this up? The men do not pay for the women and the women do not pay for the men.

"Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you."

  Amy, I am a happily married man living a fun life. Any objective person would be able to see that your considerations are clouded with hate and bigotry. You hate the idea of American men having alternatives to American women, and you have a superiority complex and a prejudice towards foreign women. A confidant woman would not be threatened by competition, but it appears to scare you. You hide your fear under the guise that you care about these women to the point that you fabricate the condition and content of their hearts. If anyone should be ashamed Amy, it is you.

"Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these women face when they are stuck with losers like you."

  I feel very sorry for you Amy. Your self-inflicted pain comes from a vision of terror that does not exist. I hope it is not too late for you to feel better about yourself. I invite you to answer all the questions I have asked, and by that I do not mean respond. I mean actually answer my questions, surprise me with an exchange void of glaring lies and insulting attacks. Can you rise to those standards? If what you believe is true, you should have no difficulty in presenting a logical, rightful position. Now if you don´t mind, I have to eat dinner, burned rice.

Amy´s Response

"It makes me so sad that you are selling girls and women! People are not something to sell. If you had morals and understood values you would not be involved in this. My only comfort comes from the knowledge that u will get what u deserve. I know this because if there is a God. …or higher power they will NOT let you get away with something as terrible as this. I hope that you rot in HELL!"

  Jane, I am not selling girls. Where would you get that idea? I facilite a communication and connection between mutually consenting adults who voluntarily choose to correspond with or meet potential marriage partners. This concept is no different then any other domestic dating agency. Why would your morals and values object to people finding love? As for getting what I deserve, I am already getting the satisfaction of seeing happy couples come together from distant lands. I feel sad that you feel this is so terrible.

Jamie
Engage the Exotic

"My name is Sandra, I am a disabled woman due to a car crash accident since I was a child. Checking some forums I found your posting about your site, your business seems good though I´d call it pro prostitution and well it promotes some kind of “trading women” which is not so cool or fine.

Anyway, I am interested on finding a man for making a business marriage in order to get legal citizenship into USA due to medical issues. I offer a good payment if you help me to find a guy (older than 38 years old and single) for making this business deal, I need an answer soon, please just reply if you can help me with my request. Thanks."

  Sandra, International Introductions does not have any association or similarities to prostitution or the trading of women. How do you derive such thoughts? We do not do anything illegal or immoral, which means I will not be able to help you with your request.

Jamie
Engage the Exotic

"Hate your web site, out of place in the 21st century!"

  Since you do not provide any details, I suspect you hate the concept of the website. Is it because you despise people finding love from all corners of the world or is it because you object to people freely having more options in life?

"I don´t object to people finding love I object to you making them pay for it and it is almost in my opinion a slave trade but anyway I am a designer not an activist."

  Why would you object to someone freely paying for services they want and women freely choosing who they would like to meet or not meet? Someone has to pay for the communication services and the men do so willingly. You must also object to someone paying to take you out on a date, since they are obviously “buying” your love? How can you tie this to slavery when it is the complete opposite, women and mens freely and independently deciding who they may want to marry? You sound very totalitarian. I suspect you just object to the competition and men´s freedom of choice.

"Totalitarian? Very weird interpretation, I have been accused of being a bleeding heart liberal but totalitarian that´s a first! I´m sure the women do it willingly to escape the poverty they are in. You are simply, in my opinion, exploiting their poverty anyway targeted at the correct market well done! ewwww it made me cringe saying all that yuk!"

  Why do you project an unfounded prejudice towards impoverished women? Do you believe these women are unable to think for themselves? Do you really think that their family and friends and the only life they know is meaningless to them and they only seek material gain? Don´t you think that they have emotions and a desire to find real love, regardless if it´s from afar or at home? Don´t you think men want the same? What about the many women on my site who have a college education? Are they also exploited too? It appears that women who do something you disagree with are being exploited. Why do you have such a low opinion of women´s faculties? If an impoverished man marries an American woman is he also being exploited? Or are you sexist and believe only women can be exploited? Why did you avoid answering most of the questions I asked you? Maybe your answers would reveal an image you don´t want to see. Why do you make proclamations that show a lack of knowledge without substantiating anything you have said with facts or references? Why do you allow your opinion and emotions to overrule logic, reason and happy endings?

You don´t think it is totalitarian to use the word “hate” so freely and quickly. I just matched a young Australian widower with a beautiful daughter with a young Colombian woman also with a beautiful daughter. They both express joy and fulfillment in finding each other from almost opposite ends of the world. I feel happy that I helped two people come together. I don´t understand why you feel this is vile and exploitive. Why do you only see the dark side of life? No doubt it is born from the belief that if any wrong or harm transpires it requires intervention from self-anointed individuals like you to control and restrict. So if a thousand couples benefit and one person gets exploited then it´s bad and should be stopped?

I defined you by your words. Your views are not liberal. They´re anti-choice, anti-freedom, and anti-women which is totalitarian. If you take some time to think, maybe you would reconsider your non-“21st century” opinion and realize that both parties benefit from my services and that the only “exploitation” comes from third parties who want to interfere with it and dictate just what is in the best interest of mutually consenting adults. Maybe you should learn to not just follow the party line but start being a modern-day free thinker.

Anyway, thanks for the compliment. By “targeted market” I am sure you mean decent good men who seek quality women who share their values, goals and taste in a mutually-beneficial relationship filled with happiness and love. I wish the same prize for you. It´s not too late to open up your mind and break the totalitarian blinders you now wear. In fact, I think cringing is the first step to recovery.

Jamie
Engage the Exotic

The following exchange was edited to improve the flow and grammar.

"Jamie I think you are using the word totalitarian in a wrong way. If a person hates your website it is not totalitarian, they don´t try to force you to do anything against your will, they are only giving their opinion."

  The reason for her hating my website is why she is totalitarian. Opinions come from a belief. And her belief is coming from an ignorant and repressive mindset. I guarantee you if it was within her power to put a stop to this, she and other people who think like her would do it.

"Here in Sweden we have some bad examples about how women have been abused in this kind of arranged marriage where the girls mostly come from Thailand and African countries. I don´t know if they are less smart than Latin women (I don´t think so)."

  Our introduction service does not arrange marriages. We aid in the connection process. The man and the woman will determine what if any arrangements will be made not us. As for abusive marriages one can always find bad deeds that are the exception to the general rule. Why do you want to guide and live life by the rare exceptions?

"Because of the immigrant rules they can´t go to the polls. They have to live in Sweden for two years to stay permanently in the country. I don´t know the rules in the USA, hope they are better."

  So what is wrong with that? Most American don´t go to the polls, so does that mean they are being exploited too? Because some immigrants don´t vote, does that mean they´re not protected by our laws? They are fully protected. This is a meaningless statement.

"Maybe you make some people happy and they are finding love, still you are exploiting the poor situation. And I think it puts some women in a position where it is hard to get out of if they happen to get in to an abusive situation."

  I am not exploiting anyone. Why is it exploitive for people to share a new life together that is better for both? You don´t want these women who live in “poor situations” to leave those situations? This guise that these women are being exploited has no basis in reality. Could any of these women possibly be exploited? So Sweden doesn´t have any divorces where men or women exploit and take advantage of the other? Are you anti-marriage because some men in Sweden beat their wives and these women are afraid to leave the relationship? If it could have been proven that women from underdeveloped countries were taken advantage of more often than the general population, the feminists would be blasting this to our leaderless politicians to do something. But the truth is that it doesn´t happen. These women are not being abused. They know that the vast majority of American men make good husbands compared to the rest of the men in the world. These women like American men because the Latin women from their countries who have married American men simply tell their family and friends what good husbands we are. The positive word gets around. Your standing on this issue is based on a fabricated myth that these Latin women are helpless, fearing, passive, and abuse-accepting. You absolutely have no idea of Latin women to say something so stupid. The totalitarian didn´t answer any of my questions directed to her. Why don´t you answer these questions and then we can see where this leads.

"So if a person doesn´t agree with your opinion and your business because they think that you are taking advantage of people´s bad economic situation they are automatically a totalitarian person?"

  No, I would not call someone totalitarian for this. She said more than that. I defined her by her inability to justify or be consistent with her own opinions. One of the first things she said was “I object to you making them pay for it and it is almost in my opinion a slave trade…” How am I “making” anyone do anything? All parties involved do so voluntarily and freely. How is this a “slave trade?” Personal choice makes them slaves because she objects to their self-determination? I clearly listed why I defined her in such terms, but you chose to ignore those points.

"What do you know about the whole underlying ideological mindset about a person from a short opinion in some lines here?"

  I try my best.

"How can you tell that the person wants to prevent you for what you are doing for a living if she had the power? Maybe she only wants to convince you with her opinion?"

  Unlikely, our societies would not have thousands of rules and laws on the books if such people were not prone to insist that you abide to their way of thinking. Most people want to do more than just to voice an opinion. They want others to follow it.

"To judge people to be in any aggressive form as totalitarian is not open minded."

  Who´s not being open-minded? She answered only one of my many questions and you didn´t do much better. It appears neither one of you are open-minded to the truth. You simply avoid it.

"You wrote, “If it could have been proven that women from underdeveloped countries were taken advantage of at a higher rate than the general population, the feminist would be blasting this to our leaderless politicians to do something”. The feminist do. And you don´t even have to be a feminist to do so."

  Yes, to some degree they do and they may not all be feminists; yet they are no facts to substantiate their position. Unfortunately, you don´t need facts or good reasons to make laws, just power. American men have been bringing in foreign wives to America ever since the first ship landed on the continent and it has never stopped. Different people from different lands who adapt to the American way help make our country great.

"I don´t think Latin women are stupid or “helpless, fearing, passive, and abuse” by nature or culture. But I think some of it is a result of poverty. People who have a bad living situation often think that things can´t get any worse. They are taking the opportunity for a better life. Probably most men in the USA are good people. Some are not. That is the problem."

  So are you saying, that the Latin women who are middle upper class can accept a marriage proposal from an American, but those of a lower class can´t make that decision because they can´t think properly and because you don´t want them to take the opportunity for a new life because some American men are bad, thus making the whole process wrong? Please tell me you are not professor of logic in Sweden. As I pointed out to you before, just because a very small minority creates a problem, that doesn´t mean the large majority of others don´t deserve solutions to their problems. They are problem people and problem incidences in all aspects and activities of life. And it is up to individuals to weigh out those risks in determining their future, and not for you to do so for them.

"Still you take advantage of people´s hopes and dreams for profit. And marriage is for love “in the first place” can´t we say that?"

  I do not take advantage of anyone. Can you give me at least one specific example of how free choosing adults are being taken advantage of by me? We all have “hopes and dreams” that don´t always come true. A minor league baseball player has “hopes and dreams” to become a major league baseball player for a team that makes its decision on the profitability of that player. If he doesn´t make the majors are you going to defend his exploitation for having his dreams broken or do you only defend the down-trodden women who you believe can´t think for themselves without your assistance, because they just don´t know what is best for them? I guess it is better that these women´s “hopes and dreams” just don´t get fulfilled because we can´t have anyone´s aspirations not come true. Why don´t you just admit that it is irrelevant to you what these women think because what you truly believe is that you know what is best for them and they don´t?

"I think your business can do as much harm to women as it can “liberate” for some."

  Yes, because you believe that if one person is harmed then the activity is wrong for all.

"For me your business is a bit dirty. If you did it for free I could understand."

  Now we are getting somewhere. The whole time you are trying to make a point that this is harmful to women even thought the facts don´t bear this out and now you tell me that if I wasn´t getting paid to offer my time and services then it would be OK to do this “dirty” business. You are obviously anti-capitalist and at the same time provided a very weak argument for your position. In the U.S. “profit” for most of us is still a good word. I want to profit and I want everyone else to profit and make a profit. Profit is a good word. It means that I am being rewarded for services that people find truely helpful.

"And if you really would like to do something good for these women, work or give some money to helping organizations. At least you can give something back from profiting in this situation in the third world. Maybe you already do?"

  What, if I am a philanthropist then I am a good person and can be forgiven for making a “dirtyprofit?” Listen, I don´t expect to convince someone from socialist Sweden that Liberty, Freedom and Individual Rights are more important than the State. We clearly have a different philosophy. It would have been nice for you to have represented yours using facts, but I understand that this would create an inconsistency with your beliefs. And we can´t let the realties of nature and people disturb these “I know what is best for others” thoughts you have. I have no doubt you mean well. You simply don´t understand the big picture or how harmful the implementations of your views actually are to the world.

"And don´t judge my general opinion on marriage as an institute of love from my opinion about your business!"

  I only compared your disapproval for women you consider to be impoverished to abused Swedish spouses being abused. If you want to prohibit one from happening (American men marrying foreign Latin women) then to be consistent you would have to prohibit indigenous Swedes from marrying because either marriage may descend into an abusive relationship.

"You can defend your business and I can understand that. What I can not understand is the way you try to tell me what my opinion is. I think you have a tendency to be intolerant."

  I defended an uninvited message because I do not ideally stand by falsehoods. At the same time I didn´t expect to change your mis-sighted views. As I said to you before, you want to believe that your opinions are right and you simply won´t allow the light of truth to reveal that you have opinions that are dark or harmful.

"If you would not do this for business (and for profit) you would probably have another aspect to the love matching. Knowing that money rules your focus is what puts the dirt in the machinery. I think love should be a commitment of feelings not a market trade."

  Good for you, then you must be against all matchmaking services. Money does not rule my focus. I focus on satisfying a female customer and a male customer. When I bring the two together in mutual satisfaction one of my rewards is what you call “dirty” money. Commitments and feelings don´t vanish because someone uses me as an intermediary for finding love.

"By the way, if you think you are going to convince anyone with your raillery, you are wrong."

  Fine. I hope I at least convinced people that you are a great debater. There is no point in continuing this discussion with more examples of your faulty reasoning since you bypass registering those points. You refused to answer my questions because you can´t provide valid answers to support your position. You are inconsistent and contradictory with your arguments. You have emotional opinions which you prohibit facts and evidence from changing and you hide behind a false good-guy shield. Let us end this by concluding that I am the ruthless and profit-seeking slave trader and that you are the pious and open defender of the disenfranchised who knows best for all.

Jamie
Engage the Exotic